When She Was Bad
by Mya2313
Summary: Set at the end of New Moon. Bella & Edward return from Italy but will she be so forgiving? My take on how I think NM should have ended. Feisty Bella, possessive Edward and there's sure to be some Lemons!
1. Chapter 1

**I have started this off from New Moon when Edward and Bella arrive back at Charlie's after their lovely trip to Italy. Unfortunately, I don't have a copy of the book with me and had to rely on quotes I could find on the internet and my (sometimes reliable…..) memory for the real New Moon quotes so apologies for any errors there. I've incorporated those into my own bits of dialogue in some places, I hope that's allowed. Obviously, those bits I didn't write myself – I'd be a hell of a lot richer if I did!**

**Oh, and I may or may not have got the teacher's name right, I was really struggling with that. I'm sure someone will tell me if I haven't!**

My open eyes only made it till the stairs. The last thing I felt was Edward's cool hands prying my fingers loose from his shirt.

As I slowly surfaced from the nightmare I had lived the last… how many days? It felt like I truly was coming up for air. I was conscious enough to know I wasn't really conscious, that much I was aware of. And like a sixth sense, I just knew _he_ was there, my angel, or so I had thought. After all this time wanting him back, only him, I found my thoughts getting dark and twisted. The gaping hole he'd left where my heart had been was suddenly filled, but instead of the light and warmth he had once brought to it, it was left cold and black. He didn't want me. He had made that perfectly clear in that awful room surrounded by those monsters. He would have rather died than spend an eternity with me.

I knew he would be able to tell I was awake, or near enough, but I feigned sleep a little longer, needing to make sense of my mixed up thoughts. What did I want? I thought I wanted him, but what was the point of wanting him if he doesn't want me in return? No, I wasn't going to live like that.

It was clear now. He had tried to kill himself because he felt guilty, pure and simple. He left the stupid, pathetic, clingy human behind and she nearly got herself killed. He IS overly dramatic about things, it stands to reason he would act out over something like that. In fact, it was all probably a cry for attention, nothing to do with me at all. My heart ached at the bitter path my thoughts were going down, but I couldn't help it, it was the only thing that made sense – Edward didn't want me and I would rather be alone than see him just tolerating my presence every day, that would be unbearable. I had no doubt that if I allowed myself to be with him, that's what would happen, he would tolerate me. Until something, or someone, better came along. And then my heart would be broken beyond repair, not even Jacob could help me then.

I took a deep breath, resolute in my decision but feeling my poor, abused heart shattering all over again at the painful reality we now faced. A clean break. He was right. That's what it has to be.

Something cold touched my forehead with the softest pressure. I squeezed my eyes more tightly shut. He definitely knew I was awake now and I could feel his cold, stone arms wrap slightly tighter around me. He was holding me? I couldn't think about that now. Another deep breath and I slowly opened my eyes. There he was, his perfect face just inches from my own, his pitch-black eyes boring into mine as if he was trying to see straight into my soul. I made my face an impassive mask, I had perfected the art of lying in my time alone these last six months. His beautiful eyebrows pulled down slightly into a frown.

"Whats wrong Bella?" his voice was beautiful, soft, quiet and melodic just as I dreamed. I fought not to fall to my knees beside the bed and beg him to have me back, that would never do. I struggled slightly in his arms, trying to get some space – away from him. His frown deepened as he slowly unwound his arms from around me. I sat up and shifted towards the edge of the bed. He copied my actions and sat still as a statue, staring at me, that frown frozen on his face.

"Nothings wrong, im fine", my voice was weak and rasping from sleep. I cleared my throat and hugged my arms across my middle. It suddenly occurred to me that Charlie might walk in at any minute.

"What time is it? How long have I been sleeping?"

"It's just after one in the morning. So, about fourteen hours." His response was calm and level, as though trying to coax a frightened animal closer.

I stood up off of the bed and backed a few paces away, Edwards frown deepened as he regarded me, concern playing on his beautiful features.

"Oh, ok… well, im fine now so you'd better go".

"Go? Go where?"

Where? How was I supposed to know where he wanted to go? "It really is none of my business where you go anymore, is it Edward?" my reply was curt and I couldn't keep the acid out of my tone, if I even truly wanted to. Edward rose gracefully and slowly to his feet.

"Bella, what is this? Whats wrong? You want me to go?" the pitiful look on his face flared my anger, how dare he act wounded after he LEFT me.

"I didn't_ want_ you to go six months ago Edward and yet you did regardless, clearly you give very little thought to my wishes in your decision. So yes, I think you should just go, seek out your distractions wherever it is you want. You can see that I am very much alive so there's no need for your attention seeking, guilt ridden suicide attempts anymore is there?"

Edward stared blankly at me, clearly not expecting that response. My blood was pumping in my veins, my heart hammering, I knew he could hear it. Maybe he'd eat me, he was clearly hungry. The idea nearly brought an irrational giggle bubbling to my lips – what a fitting end that would be to this whole debacle. But, even my brief amusement didn't overcome the irritation I was feeling at him right now as he stared at me looking like I'd just killed his puppy.

He took a slow step toward me, never taking his eyes from mine, "Isabella Marie Swan," he whispered, the strangest expression crossing his face. He almost looked mad. "Do you believe that I asked the Volturi to kill me because I felt guilty?"

I could feel the blank incomprehension on my face. "Didn't you?"

"Feel guilty? Intensely so. More than you can comprehend."

"Then... what are you saying? I don't understand."

"Bella, I went to the Volturi because I thought you were dead," he said, voice soft, eyes fierce. "Even if I'd had no hand in your death" he shuddered as he whispered the last word "even if it wasn't my fault, I would have gone to Italy. Obviously, I should have been more careful, I should have spoken to Alice directly, rather than accepting it secondhand from Rosalie. But, really, what was I supposed to think when the boy said Charlie was at the funeral? What are the odds?

"The odds..." he muttered then, distracted. His voice was so low I wasn't sure I heard it right. "The odds are always stacked against us. Mistake after mistake. I'll never criticize Romeo again."

Romeo? He was babbling about fictional characters now? Well screw that.

"What the hell Edward? You "should have been more careful"? Oh really?" my voice was raising now, my anger flaring further as I paced beside the bed, thankful for the barrier between us, "why do you even care?" I spat the words at him.

He looked as though I'd just slapped him in the face, a sick part of me felt smug at that expression, smug that I could hurt him, even a fraction of the amount he hurt me.

"How could I not care Bella? You're everything to me, I couldn't live in this world without you in it, not for one more minute".

"How dare you! You LEFT me Edward! You walked away and left me in the woods! You didn't call me, you didn't even check to make sure I'd got out of those goddamn woods alive" he opened his mouth to speak but my glare had him snapping it shut again, "you walked away from me, for _SIX_ months Edward, and left me here to pick up the pieces of my life. You took my best friend away from me with you and you took away the future I dreamed about. You left and you didn't look back. You broke me, you ripped my heart out and now you tell me that you cant live without me? Well go to hell Edward, it doesn't work that way!"

"Bella, please.. just listen.. I left… I left for you, I thought I was doing the right thing _for you_. I swear I didn't know about Victoria, if I had thought for one second…. That… she would come back for you I wouldn't have left, I swear."

"Oh, so you would have stuck around for the vampire but you were all too quick to leave me, weren't you?"

He let out an exasperated sigh which got on my very last nerve, "No Bella" he said slowly, as though talking to a child, "I thought it was safe for you here. So safe. I had no idea that Victoria, would come back. I'll admit, when I saw her that one time, I was paying much more attention to James's thoughts." I stood there staring at him whilst he rambled on about the goddamn vampires. Seriously, that's what he's going to talk to me about? Im telling him about how he broke my heart and he's talking about the bond between his vampire enemies. As if I care! "But I just didn't see that she had this kind of response in her. That she even had such a tie to him. I think I realize why now she was so sure of him, the thought of him failing never occurred to her. It was her overconfidence that clouded her feelings about him that kept me from seeing the depth of them, the bond there…

I couldn't take it anymore, I snapped. I grabbed the lamp from the bedside table, yanking the plug out of the wall with the force and hurled it directly at him without saying a word. I had never been one for sports, and my aim was generally appalling. Whether it was the adrenalin coursing through my veins or merely the fact that the last thing Edward was expecting was for me to start throwing the bedroom furniture at him and so didn't dodge it, I don't know, but luck was definitely on my side either way. I watched as the porcelain lamp smashed on Edwards chest as he stood there, as the immovable statute he so resembled, with a look of pure shock on his face. He tilted his head down to look at the shards as they fell onto the floor, as if he couldn't quite work out where they'd come from.

"Bella…." His voice was all pain and soft and weak as he looked up at me. I could feel my face flushed with anger but still part of me wanted nothing more than to run into his arms, forgive him and forget the last six months. But another part, the sensible part, was telling me that when he leaves me again, as he surely would, my heart would certainly be unable to bear it that time. A clean break, like he said, that's what we needed.

I looked him straight in the eye, my face an emotionless mask once more.

"Just go Edward." I said the words quietly, monotone.

"But… Bella… Please…"

"GO! NOW!" I screamed, a wounded, feral cry and I could see every bit of my own pain reflected in his own face. It almost made me stop and change my mind, did he truly want me now? But then, in the blink of an eye he was gone as Charlie barreled through my door, gun in hand. I sighed as I climbed into bed, ignoring Charlie's yelling. No, I'd imagined Edwards pain, it was clearly just leftover shock from the lamp thing. He doesn't want me, best get used to it now.

The weekend went slowly. I knew Edward was there, watching me, in the woods outside my room. I could sense his very presence and it irked me. He didn't have the right to act the victim here. I was the victim, he left me! Needless to say, my window remained firmly closed and locked at all times.

I stuck close to the house most of the weekend, not least of all because Charlie had grounded me. I was allowed to leave the house for school and nothing else. That suited me just fine, I had no friends left after the appalling behaviour I had displayed the last few months, and I certainly had no intention of having a cosy get together with the Cullens. Instead, I settled for cleaning the house top to bottom – it had never looked better – and catching up on the assignments I was shamefully behind on. By the time Monday rolled around I was pretty much caught up on the school work I'd missed during my European adventure and was feeling somewhat better about the decisions I'd made, although my heart still ached for Edward. Knowing he was so close, feeling him there all the time, was painful. I almost wished he'd just go again, let me get over him once and for all. Its not like there was any other alternative, this is how it was always going to end.

I pulled into my usual parking space at the far end of the parking lot and trudged through the sheet rain into the school building, catching up with Mike Newton as joined the masses huddling for cover.

"Hey Mike, good to see Forks is back to normal, right?" I joked,we'd had a relatively dry weekend.

Mike spun around, his face a picture of surprise.

"Bella? Well, arent you just a sight for sore eyes, joining the walking and talking again"

"Yeah yeah yeah…." I rolled my eyes and gave him a friendly elbow in the ribs as I followed him into the building before departing for my English class and telling him I'd see him at lunch, he promised to save a seat for me. The smile on his face was really quite endearing and I found that I actually had missed Mike, who'd have thought?

I tugged down the hood on my coat off my head as I walked through the door to my English class. I was feeling good about this, I'd got my four outstanding assignments completed over the weekend and they were pretty damn good, even if I do say so myself. I glanced towards my desk as I made my way around the classroom and froze. The seat beside me had never been taken, with me practically being a zombie for much of the year, people mostly avoided me. But there he was, sat in the seat next to mine. Edward. How dare he? The sheer audacity of it was astounding.

I yanked my coat off roughly and shoved it under my arm as I stomped towards my desk, throwing my heavy books down onto it and then my book bag ontop of them, making sure through my noise and body language that Edward was not in any way unclear that I was pissed at him. Really pissed. He looked up at me, his eyes the golden brown I was so used to seeing, he looked almost afraid of me.

"Get. Out. Of. Here". My voice was calm and low and deadly.

"Bella, please…" he implored, "just sit, we need to talk. Im so sorry for what I did to you-"

"You're sorry?" I cut him off, "well, sorry doesn't fix anything Edward, tough shit!"

He looked taken aback at my swearing. Well, Bella's grown up while the big, bad vampire's been away! Tough shit, again!

"You said your piece, I said mine. This is just weird Edward. You're practically stalking me, don't think I don't know you've been hanging around my house all weekend", he had the good grace to look sheepish as he avoided my eyes, "just go, get on with your life like you wanted to. Wouldn't want a pathetic human holding you back would you?"

His eyes darted around the room, I could tell he was checking whether anyone had heard me, I couldn't help rolling my eyes.

"See, this is exactly why you were right, with your "distractions" you wouldn't have to worry about them saying the wrong thing!"

He frowned at my air quotes.

"Bella, please, you're being unreasonable…"

"Unreasonable?" I whisper-shrieked, "How is it UNREASONABLE of me to tell you to get back to doing what you wanted to do all along anyway? Its not my fault you're all full of guilt, get over it Edward".

I slumped into the chair and looked at the front, feeling the heat of his stare on me.

"Its Newton isn't it?" his voice was ice "I saw you with him, laughing and joking. Is that it Bella? That's why you wont even hear me out? You and NEWTON" he practically spat the last word.

I turned to look at him, a smug smile on my face.

"So what if it is Edward, its none of YOUR concern anymore" _oh yeah, Bella the bitch has arrived_! I thought to myself, I can play these games too "you moved on, you left, for SIX months Edward, maybe I moved on too…" I gave a nonchalant shrug, although I felt anything but.

I held his gaze, watching as his eyes darkened visibly, a muscle in his jaw clenching. I could hear the crack of the wooden desk as he gripped it, then suddenly the desk was pushed forward as Edward rose to his feet, the combined noise of his chair and the desk scraping on the floor echoing around the classroom. All eyes turned to look at the scene playing out, even Mr Bertie stopped his talk on… whatever it was he was talking about.

"Do we have a problem Mr Cullen?"

Edwards eyes blazed with fury as he glared down at me, I was suddenly rethinking my jibe at him.

"Fucking Newton" he spat, almost under his breath before storming out of the classroom.

"Shit" I could hear myself say it as everyone watched Edward's swift departure with slack jaws. I grabbed up my bag and ran after him out of the classroom, what the hell was he going to do to Mike?

"Miss Swan? Mr Cullen? Where do you think you're going?"

**Ok, so I said that I wasn't going to post just as and when I write a chapter, and I honestly don't intend to, but I've been so busy that this is all I managed to get written down whilst I've been away with work so thought I'd share it and hopefully get some feedback on what you think before I decide whether I'm going to continue it. For those who haven't read my strange little O/S, please do(!), as this is intended to expand on that a bit, but obviously going a lot further back in time when Bella's still human. I find pathetic Bella annoying so thought I'd make her a bit more feisty – things are more fun that way, right?**

**This is my first attempt at a proper, full length fic and this chapter is a bit dull, I realise that, I needed to "set the scene" a bit. But please bear with me, I'm hoping to move it on from the dullness ASAP. I've really struggled to work out how to write this as the o/s was never supposed to be more than that so I haven't given it any thought previously. I'm hoping to make it a bit humorous though, perhaps putting Edward in his place a bit and yes, there will almost certainly be lemons coming up soon!**

**Thanks for reading, please review if you liked it **

**P.S. Any other Buffy fans out there? Couldn't come up with a title no matter how hard I tried, then was watching a Buffy episode with the same title and thought it was fairly fitting as Bella is certainly going to end up as a very bad girl!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

XxX

_Shit! Shit! Shit!_

I kept up my internal chant as I raced down the deserted hallways blindly, not having a clue which direction to head in. Edward, of course, was long gone and my brain had completely drawn a blank when I'd asked it the simple question of what class Mike had this morning. You'd think after being friends for a year I'd have known that. I'm a terrible, terrible person.

A loud crash and the sound of glass shattering had my heart leaping into my throat. Yep, that's where Edward is. I headed in the direction of the noise, guided by the raised voices and squeals of the teacher and other students. Spanish. That's what Mike had first period.

As I rounded the open door – open because it had been yanked near off its hinges – my blood froze in my veins. The picture before me was so much worse that I'd imagined. Edward had Mike pinned up against one of the huge windows on the opposite side of the classroom, I could see where the glass had splintered and shattered with the force of the impact. A trickle of blood was running slowly down from Mike's temple and Edward's whole body was shaking with his fury. Desks had been strewn all over the classroom and thrown to the ground, a clear path showing Edwards entrance. I raced toward the scene unfolding before me and elbowed the teacher – I didn't recall her name – out of my way, trying to edge my way between Mike and Edward, but there was barely an inch of space between them. The terror on Mike's face was clear for all to see, as was the rage on Edward's. I grabbed his arm, trying in vain to pull it free of Mike's neck.

"Edward! Let go of him! What the hell?"

My panicked yelling didn't provoke so much as a glance from the irate vampire. Had he finally gone mad? I changed tact and pushed with all my might against his chest as one of the male students did the same on his other side, of course, he didn't budge an inch.

I lowered my voice, "Edward, let him go. NOW".

He ignored me, speaking directly to Mike in a low, deadly voice.

"You piece of shit, I swear to God if you have laid a hand on her I'll rip them off! I will fucking kill you if you've touched her"

"What the hell are you talking about Cullen? Touched who?" the panic was evident in his trembling voice, "Bella? Is that what this is about?" his eyes darted to me for a split second, wild and bewildered.

Edward's face distorted with his rage and in an instant he pulled Mike away from the window and tossed him to the floor at the foot of the blackboard, stepping around me to stalk after him.

"Don't you dare even say her name, don't look at her!" he roared, "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

He was about to descend on Mike again when Alice, flanked by Emmett and Jasper came rushing into the room and stood infront of Edward, holding him back. I breathed a sigh of relief, was he actually going to kill Mike? Ignoring the vampire get-together, I rushed to Mike's side. The blood now running in a steady stream down the side of his face and pooling on his white shirt made my stomach lurch. I held my breath as I pulled off the sweater I was wearing. I pressed the edge of it to the wound.

"Bella, what the fuck is wrong with Cullen? He's gone insane!"

"I don't know what his problem is, I'm so sorry Mike, are you ok?"

He winced as I pulled the fabric from his wound.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Crazy freak damn near threw me through the window. What the hell is he high on? Jesus Christ….." He didn't take his eyes off Edward who was still fuming silently behind me, watching our little interaction and ignoring the hushed whispers of his siblings. The teacher was trying to get the class in some sort of order, sending students off to fetch the nurse and principle.

"I'm so sorry Mike, he shouldn't have done that, I don't know what his problem is", I shot a venomous glare over my shoulder, Edward frowned slightly, "Can you stand, we need to get you out of here and away from the crazy freak", I raised my voice on the last two words, just to make my point. I could hear Edward's low growl from behind me.

I stood up and pulled on Mike's arm to get him to his feet, another student came over, the one who had attempted to pry Edward off Mike, and helped me get him standing. We finally had Mike on his feet, albeit somewhat unsteadily. He was leaning heavily against me so our new friend pulled Mike's arm around his neck, taking some of his weight off of me.

"Come on Mike, let's get you to the nurse", I started for the door, Mike hobbling and swaying next to me, the teacher following, fluttering and flustered as she ushered us out, muttering directions of what we were supposed to do, I didn't pay her much attention.

His voice was barely above a whisper but the warning was clear just from the tone.

"Bella."

I paused and turned around, staring Edward right in the eye.

"Go to hell Edward. And stay the fuck away from me".

Edward's roar of fury followed us into the hallway and I could hear Alice's attempts to calm him down, and the distinct sound of more classroom furniture being thrown and smashed. My name echoed around us as he yelled. Yep, he'd finally lost it. And maybe I had to. Of all the time's I'd looked at Edward and marveled at his beauty, not once did he come close to the magnificence I'd just encountered. What an amazing creature he was. Time for some fun. A smirk played on my lips as we made our slow progression to the nurse's office.

XxX

After depositing Mike on the little bed in the nurses office and staying just long enough to be polite, I made a quick getaway to the parking lot, hoping to evacuate the premises before the Cullen's caught up to me. Unfortunately, my luck had run out with Edward not killing Mike Newton it seemed. As I darted across the deserted tarmac I saw them, huddled around Rosalie's BMW, Edward leaning against the passenger door, the others circling him, clearly interrogating him. The anger was still there on his face, but now a hint of arrogance was clear to see there also. I averted my eyes quickly, not wanting to draw attention to myself, but realistically I knew that he was already aware of my presence. I ducked my head and made straight for my truck. My pleasure at making it to my destination without being intercepted was short lived when two feet appeared infront of me as two large, cold hands gently gripped the top of my arms, thankfully stopping me from running straight into him.

"Bella". His voice held that same warning tone, I could feel my irritation flare, with an exaggerated sigh I raised my eyes to meet his.

"Edward" I intentionally matched his tone.

"Edward, leave her alone, come on you've caused enough trouble", Alice's tone was exasperated, I couldn't help sympathizing with her, he was like a toddler having a tantrum.

"Yes Edward, leave her alone", I smirked up at him, my voice dripping with sarcasm as I yanked myself free of his grip.

"I swear to God Bella…"

"You swear what Edward?" I cut him off, "what exactly are you going to do? Or say? Or are you just going to pout and glare at me? Maybe beat up another kid?"

We stood face to face, both of us glowering, the anger and tension humming between us. His anger made him so much more beautiful. I was torn in two, the desire to scream and shout and make him feel a small fraction of the pain I'd felt was at war with the desire to have him, leap on him right here, right now and have my way with him in the middle of the school parking lot. I had a sneaking suspicion that in this moment, he wouldn't argue with me.

Jasper walked straight up to us, his body language oozing authority as he placed his hand firmly on Edward's shoulder, pushing gently.

"Edward, enough", his voice was calm but commanding.

In a flash Edward had twisted out of his brother's grip and flung him to the ground, a sharp growl sounding out like a whip-crack.

"Don't touch me" he snarled down at his brother, who just stared up at him bewildered.

"Edward, what the hell is your problem?" I demanded, enraged, storming up to him "you're acting like a spoilt child throwing your weight around" I pushed on his chest and he took a step back, I glared up at him, "actually, no, scratch that. You're acting like a goddamn animal".

He smirked down at me, a sexy, arrogant version of his quirky lopsided smile that I'd fallen in love with.

"Well, get used to it Bella, I am an animal", his eyes burned into mine as he took a step forward, leaning over to lower his lips to my ear, his cool breath tickled my neck, "and you, Bella, are mine. I can play this game too. I want you, I know you want me and you can be fucking sure I won't let the likes of Mike Newton get his filthy paws on one inch of what is mine".

His words should have disgusted me, speaking of me like any other possession as he was, but a flush of arousal spread through my entire body, warming my cold, dead heart in a way I wouldn't have believed. I knew Edward could hear my sharp intake of breath and the way my heartbeat sped, his smirk widened as he straightened up, winking at me before he turned on his heels and headed straight for the woods.

I blinked dumbly ahead of me, not seeing Alice as she moved cautiously infront of me. Then as I began to come to my senses I could feel the irritation at myself for getting so affected by Edward, what the hell was that about? A few words and I'm practically panting at his feet? That's not the way this was supposed to happen. Well fuck that, time to up the stakes. A cold hand closing gently over mine snapped me out of my internal musings with a start, I glared up at Alice, knowing it was irrational of me to direct my anger at her but powerless to stop it right now, I was so pissed off at myself, I snatched my hand out of her grip.

"All of you, just…. Stay the hell away from me," I was just able to catch Alice's face fall as I turned away from her, back to my truck, I called over my shoulder, making sure to avoid her eyes, "and I suggest you keep your psycho brother on a shorter leash before he really does kill someone…".

I hauled the driver's door open and started the engine quickly, praying Alice or one of the others wouldn't come and try to talk to me. I revved the engine loudly and reversed without looking behind me. The rest of the school was in classes and the Cullen's were hardly going to be hurt being hit by a truck, even one as huge as mine.

I made it out of the parking lot without running anyone over and floored it all the way to my house. I could have sworn I saw a flash of silver following me at one point, but it was gone before I could tell for sure.

XxX

The next few days passed relatively uneventfully. Edward, of course, was suspended from school after his little tantrum so at least I didn't have to deal with him in classes. But, I wasn't stupid enough to think that this meant that he wasn't following me around everywhere I went… freak! I could sense him outside whenever I looked out of the windows, I hated my body's reaction to his proximity, how it felt like the tiniest hint of static whenever he was around, it was infuriating and made pretending to ignore him all the more difficult. I freaked out a little one morning when I got into my truck and the cab smelled like him, that sweet, luscious scent I craved so much. It engulfed me as soon as I closed the door. He'd been sat in my truck, probably all night, staring up at my bedroom window. That was…. Weird. What was he doing? I shuddered slightly, wondering if it truly was possible for a vampire to lose their mind. Looking at things logically, he had dealt with a lot of trauma recently – me dying, him trying to kill himself, me miraculously alive again, him nearly being murdered, us arguing… He was just melodramatic enough for that to cause him to have a mental breakdown. I cranked open the window, put the truck into gear and headed to school.

On Saturday I arranged to spend some time at La Push with Jake, mostly because I missed my friend, but I can't deny I had a sick sense of glee in knowing that Edward couldn't step foot over the border onto the reservation. He would be absolutely furious. Bella 1 – Edward 0!

Charlie was surprisingly easy to talk into the weekend arrangement, probably because it was Jake I wanted to spend time with and not Edward, I imagine that conversation would have gone a whole lot differently. I had a curfew of course, and had to promise to ring him every hour while he was at work to let him know exactly where I was, and we weren't allowed to leave Billy's property, presumably so Billy could report to Charlie also, but I was ok with that. Some peace and quiet away from my stalker would be a godsend.

We hung out mostly in his garage, chatting about nothing much at all whilst he worked on the Rabbit. He ordered pizza and tried to sneak a couple of Billy's beers out of the fridge but got caught, much to my amusement. I had missed Jake the last week, I felt horrible for how I'd left him when I rushed off to Italy, he was a good friend and he was trying to protect me and I pretty much just ditched him for Edward. Jake, being the wonderful person he was, forgave me instantly, and was more worried about the current state of affairs.

"You know, I can smell him all over you, it's disgusting", he wrinkled up his nose for effect, "I thought you said you weren't back with him Bells?"

"I'm not!" I replied indignantly, "It must just be cos he's hanging around outside the house. Oh, and there was that one time he must have camped out in my truck, the whole cab smelled of him when I got in it in the morning, weird right?"

Concern flashed across Jakes face, "That's kinda stalker-y Bella, are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine Jake", I rolled my eyes, "Edward wouldn't hurt me, you know that, he's just got all possessive and ridiculous because I told him to get on with his life. He left ME after all, made it quite clear how things were, and now he's gone all "alfa male" on me, beating up kids in school and calling me his property…. He's so over the top about everything" I let out a big sigh as I slumped back in my chair. Jake's expression darkened as he stood up slowly and walked over to me, perching on the edge of the chair beside me and angling his body towards me.

"Um… Bella, that sounds really… wrong. He beat a kid up?" I nodded, Jake sucked in a sharp breath, "Jesus… well, I can tell you that the leech stink all over you is not from him hanging outside your house Bella, he's been IN your house, touching your clothes, probably you too!"

"WHAT? No, he hasn't Jake!" my tone was outraged.

"He has Bella, he must have done. Do you mean to tell me you didn't invite him in? The fucking psycho bloodsucker is just letting himself into your room at night?" he stood up, his hands trembling in anger as the volume of his voice rose, he couldn't change here, not now… I leapt up and grabbed his hand in both of mine, making my voice as calm and soothing as possible.

"We don't know that Jake, calm down!"

"I know that Bella, I know it for a fact, his stink is all over you…. Who the hell does he think he is?" his tone was still angry but his hands had stopped shaking, he'd managed to control it, his eyes flashed up to meet mine, "that's it, he's not safe Bella, I'll have the pack keep guard outside your house, make sure he doesn't try it again".

"Jake no, that's ridiculous, he's not going to hurt me, I'll nail the damn window closed if that'll make you feel better!"

"As if that'd make a difference" he snorted, "it's fine Bella, we'll take turns, it's not a problem".

An idea struck me, an evil idea….

"Wait Jake…" he looked back at me, a curious look on his face at my smirk and playful tone, "I have a better idea.. you don't mind winding the vampire up a bit, right?"

Jake grinned, "I live for winding that bloodsucker up Bells"

"Good" I laughed, "I gotta head back now, Charlie will be home any minute, if I'm late he'll ground me all over again! Just come over to my house tonight, say, 7? I'll feed you and everything Jake" he chuckled and shook his head at me.

"Sure Bells, whatever you say… you plotting something evil?"

"Naughty maybe, but not evil. Just be there, 7pm", I headed for the door before pausing, "oh, and bring some of Billy's fish fry, you know, just to appease Charlie… you know how he is…"

"Ok Bella, drive safe wont you? Jake said as he followed me to the car, watching as I climbed in.

"Sure thing Jake, see you later"

I grinned at him and he returned it tenfold before slamming my door shut for me and watching me drive along the path away from his house, waving as he did.

XxX

I grinning the whole time I was driving out of the reservation, the dense cover of trees hardly let any light through, but I felt as if it was sunny and beautiful and bright – my mood was infectious even to myself, weird right? Unfortunately it was short lived as I rounded the corner that led over the reservation boundary. There, parked on a muddy pull-in at the side of the road was the Silver Volvo I had so longed to see all those months. I automatically slowed, and almost pulled over and got out, the urge to run to him, into his arms and just let him hold me as I knew he would was almost impossible to fight. Almost. I saw him exit the drivers side as he saw my truck slow, maybe he envisioned the same romantic reunion that just flitted through my mind. Ha! I wasn't done making him sweat yet… figuratively anyway. I slammed my foot down on the gas and the truck lurched and sputtered and revved forward. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me as I flew past Edward where he stood, frozen, at the side of the road watching me. He really thought it would be that easy? Not likely! I turned the radio up, singing along to some god-awful Katie Perry wailing excuse for a song - not even that could dampen my mood. Until out of nowhere the Volvo was suddenly on my bumper, revving and snarling, much like its owner always seemed to be at the moment. I could see him in my mirror, his eyes never leaving mine as I glared back at him. Well, until I noticed a slightly panicked look on his face as his eyes snapped back to the road, mine followed suit in time to see that my tire's had already swerved across the centre line, with a car coming directly at me. I swerved back over to the correct side of the road, my heart in my mouth as the other car passed, horn blaring at me. Perfect, Edwards stupidity nearly got me killed.

Feeling the rage that had been blessedly absent all afternoon flare in me again, I violently jerked the steering wheel, pulling the truck up haphazardly on the side of the road, throwing the door open and leaping out. Edward had pulled up right close behind me and was swiftly exiting his car, the expression on his face a mixture of shock and guilt.

"Oh my God Bella, are you ok, you nearly ran straight into that car… Oh God, I don't know what I'd have done…." His face was paler than usual, his eyes wild.

"Oh, I know what you'd have done" I yelled, fuming, "you'd have marched your useless ass straight back to Italy and begged those monsters to kill you again 'cos this time it really would have been your fault for murdering me!" I was practically screaming at him now, his jaw dropped and his eyes looked big and innocent as if he couldn't possibly comprehend what I was saying. He froze at the back of my truck, lifting his arms slightly in my direction as if he wanted to hold me… what the fuck?

"Bella, I swear to you, I didn't mean anything, I was just so worried, I didn't think that-"

I cut him off.

"No, you didn't THINK, did you Edward? You've been doing a hell of a lot of NOT thinking recently haven't you? You goddamn jerk! What the hell were you playing at riding my ass like that" my mind couldn't help the images that little sentence brought forth… _Concentrate Bella! _"do you have any idea how dangerous that is? How STUPID?" I was in his face now, I slammed my open palms down on his chest, he didn't even flinch, "do you not care if I DIE Edward? Does that not matter to you as long as I'm not around another man when it happens?"

"No… Bella… God… don't even… how can you… say something like…. that" he could barely get the words out, choking over them as he was, "how could you ever think that of me…. I love you!"

That did it. The final straw.

"LOVE me?" I screeched like a banshee, hitting him on the chest again, he rocked back slightly "You fucking love me? How fucking dare you! You left me Edward, remember? Love me? You have no idea what it means" I turned away from his pain expression, my anger heating up even more. I leaned against the truck, gripping the cold metal tightly, my chest heaving. Oh, how I wished I could slap him. I wasn't a violent person normally, but right now I just needed to vent some of this anger on him, but what was the use, he wouldn't even feel it…

I could feel him behind me, edging closer slowly as if afraid of startling me. I suddenly felt his hand gently on my shoulder. I wanted to lean into his touch, I couldn't help the way my body reacted to him. But I wouldn't let myself. Then I heard his low voice, speaking softly just inches from my ear.

"Bella, please… stop this, you know I love you. You KNOW that. Let's stop this stupid game, please…." His voice was as pleading as his words and I so wanted to believe him, and give in, but I couldn't forget the last six months, or forgive him for leaving me how he did. I shrugged my shoulder out from under his grip, but couldn't stop the tears that betrayed me as they lit a hot path down my cheeks. I swiped at them angrily. He moved a step closer, I could feel his body pressed against mine… Oh, how I'd missed that. I knew one thing I'd be insisting on when I did forgive him. If I did. I needed him. Wanted him. I'd make him mine and only mine. But, he had a lot to prove before that ever happened.

"Baby, c'mon… don't cry. Im sorry, im so so sorry for what I did, I wish I could take it all back, I'd never-"

"Shut up Edward", I cut him off again, my tone cold and calm. He stopped talking immediately. I stared into the open back of my truck, inhaling and exhaling deep breaths, trying to get a hold of my emotions. I wouldn't let him do this to me, I wasn't the weak little girl he'd left, I was strong now, he'd made me this way when he walked away after all. He stood silently next to me, not moving an inch away, but at least not trying to touch me. I took a brief inventory of the things in the back of the truck, trying to think of anything to take my mind off Edward. There was a tarpaulin tied in the front corner to cover the flatbed over if it rained, I'd never bothered to use it. There was a crowbar hooked along the edge just under my fingers, Charlie had put that in there when he first gave me the truck, he never said why, just "you never know". Maybe he thought I'd need it to fight of crazy serial killers if I broke down in the woods – he watched way too many horror movies. There was a spare tire, a rope, wound up tightly, one of Charlie's spare fishing rods and a brick – random. By the time i'd done a full check of the contents of my truck I felt better, calmer. I pushed away from the truck, away from Edward, and headed back to the open door to get back in without saying a word. I was nearly there when he spoke up.

"Jesus Bella, I have had enough of this! For Christ sake will you just give this up! I said I'm sorry, I'll say I'm sorry for the rest of eternity if I have to to make it up to you but I cant take this anymore, talk to me! Is it Mike? You're angry about Mike? I'm sorry about that, I lost control… I shouldn't have done that."

"No Edward, you shouldn't have fucking done that", I whirled back to face him, "you could have killed him, do you realise that? You nearly did! So fucking stupid…."

"Stupid" Edward roared, "You think it's stupid that I wanted to protect you? I did that because of YOU Bella, FOR you and all you can do is call me stupid?" I stared up at him, slack jawed and open mouthed, what the hell was he spouting about now?

"FOR me Edward? How the hell was beating Mike to a bloody pulp good for me? Other than the whole school knowing my ex-boyfriend is a raving lunatic – hardly working in my favour!"

The "ex-boyfriend" thing seemed to strike a chord and his expression darkened while his amber eyes flared. Yep, he didn't like that.

"So worried about him aren't you Bella, what about me? Do you have any idea what it does to me thinking of him laying a finger on you?" he looked me up and down, disgust clear on his face, "I'd break every one of his fingers if he ever did that Bella, and he'd deserve it, I meant what I said, you're mine…"

"I'm not yours Edward" I yelled back at him, feeling my face heating, "When you leave a person, when you end a relationship that's exactly what it is – the end! You can't just come back, claim me as your own and expect me to come running, it doesn't work like that! People move on Edward."

His features twisted to a malicious sneer that looked so wrong on my beautiful Edwards face.

"Oh yeah, I can see you've moved on… What is it, have you been fucking the whole goddamn town Bella?" he roared at me, "Couldn't wait for me to be out of the picture so you could go chasing after Mike Newton, and your precious Jake of course! I can guess how the DOG likes it! How about Eric? Or hey, why not Tyler, he only tried to kill you but what the hell, he'll do, right Bella?"

His whole body froze as if he suddenly realised what he said, I couldn't quite believe I heard those words cross his lips myself. Is that what he really thought of me?

"Bella, I didn't.. I'm sorry.. I…." his voice was soft, contrite. It irritated me beyond belief.

Before I knew what I was doing my feet were leading me toward the back of the truck, Edward took a step back, as if afraid of me, raising his hands slightly, palm out as if in surrender. My hand reached into the back of the truck, gripping the crow bar without a conscious command to do so. I turned to face Edward, now standing at the back of my truck. His eyes flickered down to the crowbar, he didn't look overly concerned, of course… It's not like it would hurt him, still….

"Fuck you Edward". I couldn't raise my eyes to his, the words he had said were swimming in my mind, could he really think that of me?

"Bella, I don't know what I was thinking…."

Without a word I lifted the crowbar, swinging it with all my might. Edward's eyes were huge orbs, his whole face frozen in an expression of pure shock, in any other situation it would have been funny. As the business end of the crowbar connected with its target I couldn't help the scream of delight at the satisfying smash and tinkle of the plastic-glass shattering. I took another swing, putting all my strength behind it, and another, and another. Both headlights were shattered and strewn about on the road, the shiny silver paintwork on the hood of the Volvo scratched and bent under my repeated blows. My screams rang out into the woods around us as I continued my assault on the shiny silver beast infront of me, it took its beating for its owner without much argument.

Suddenly my arms froze midair as Edward gripped the crowbar and yanked it out of my hands, clearly coming out of his frozen state of shock. My arms dropped limply by my side, I heard as crowbar landed somewhere toward the middle of the road, Edward must have thrown it out of my reach.

"Fucking hell Bella…." He screeched at me, "what the fuck have you done to my car? Have you gone insane? Look what you did! Jesus Christ, why the fuck did you do that Bella? Oh my God, Rosalie is going to fucking kill me…."

I looked up at him as he was furiously tugging at his hair. I felt… content. I couldn't hurt Edward, but I sure did hurt his car. He stood staring at the battered mess, mouth gaping as if no longer capable of forming words. I turned on my heel without a word and marched to the cab of my truck and hopped in, hearing him yelling my name as I started up the engine and pulled away.

Bella 2 – Edward 0.

XxX

**What did you think? Bella's gone from Feisty Bella to Bitchy Bella in this chapter I think! I cant help it, I'm just having a bit of fun with her!**

**Please leave a review; I'd love to know what you thought! If you're nice, there may possibly be a bit of lemon-y goodness coming in the next chapter… Just sayin' ;o) Who will it be though, Edward or Jacob? Hmmm…..**


	3. Chapter 3

The drive home was uneventful; Edward presumably went home to lick his wounds, figuratively speaking at least. With an afternoon to kill I decided to make a nice dinner for when Charlie arrived home in a couple of hours. Also, I had promised to feed Jake and I should probably make good on that promise – I'd need him on side for what I had planned.

I decided to stick to my signature lasagne, it was simple to make and always went down well with everyone. About twenty minutes before I was expecting Charlie to arrive home he phoned to inform me that there'd been a big accident on one of the roads just outside of Forks that he was getting called in to assist with. It meant that he would probably be stuck either at the hospital, scene of the accident or station well into the night, perhaps right through until the morning. Well, that certainly worked in my favour! I decided to be the doting daughter and packaged up a slice of lasagne for Charlie and drove it down to the station for him. I left a note on top of the usual mess on his desk informing him that I'd put his lunch in the refrigerator. There, that should keep him happy.

I arrived home just after 6:30pm and had time for a very quick shower before Jake arrived. As I was dressing in my bedroom I became aware, for the first time, of the fact that I _wasn't_ aware of Edward. Usually these days I could just sense Edward around me all the time, just lingering outside – I knew when he was there even if I couldn't see or hear him. But tonight, nothing – no Edward. I didn't have too much time to ponder that before the doorbell was ringing. I skipped down the stairs and opened the door to a grinning Jake. He pulled me into a bear hug, his grin infectious it seemed as my own mirrored his.

"Bell's, long time no see!" he laughed. I gave him a playful punch on the arm.

"Come on idiot, food!"

He followed me through to the kitchen and obediently sat down at the small table. I plated him up a slice of the lasagne and some salad and placed it in front of him before getting my own. He dug right in, moaning and groaning over how great it tasted. I'd be lying if I said those noises weren't a little bit erotic, Jake was a good looking guy afterall. I grabbed a couple of Charlie's beers out of the fridge, handing one to Jake as I sat down to eat my food.

"So, what's the plan for tonight Bell?"

"Um, nothing much… I mean, I didn't really plan anything as such" I replied awkwardly, "I figured we could just hang out, watch a movie and catch up you know?" he smiled at me and I couldn't help smiling back, he was that kind of person. "I feel so crappy about last week Jake, I've missed you, I guess I just wanted to spend some time with you…"

His expression darkened slightly, his voice taking on a husky tone, "I've missed you too Bella, I'm so glad you came back to me".

Not quite knowing what that meant I just smiled back at him and took a long gulp of the ice cold beer.

Once dinner was finished we moved to the living room, after receiving a call from Charlie thanking me for his food. He confirmed he'd be stuck at work all night. When I mentioned Jake was over for the evening he couldn't have sounded more pleased, I had to suppress my eye roll, Charlie totally lacked any kind of subtlety.

As Jake and I settled on the couch, watching one of the American Pie films I couldn't help leaning into him. Jake was always just so warm and comforting. He lifted his arms around my shoulders and I snuggled into his warmth, loving the feeling of having him so close. I could lose myself in that feeling so easily. We were just getting comfy and settling into the film when I felt Jake tense next to me, a low growl rumbling in his chest. I sat up immediately, alarmed by his sudden change in demeanor. I turned to him, surprised to see the hard, angry expression on his face.

"Jake, what is it?" my voice was breathy, panicked.

"Your bloodsucker has arrived to stalk you it seems" he wrinkled up his nose as though he smelled something bad, "Don't worry Bell's, he won't get near you, they won't let him."

"Who won't let him?" I asked, alarmed.

"Embry and Sam, they're just in the woods beyond your house. They'll keep him away. His stink has almost disappeared now, they must have seen him off" he had an almost victorious smirk on his face at this point. I, on the other hand, blanched.

"Seen him off? They won't… kill him… will they Jake?"

He shot me a hard glare, clearly annoyed by my question, huffing out an irritated breath.

"No, they won't kill him… they aren't allowed. But he shouldn't be stalking you Bella. They'll just shake him up a bit, send him on his way. C'mon, settle down."

Whilst I wasn't overly trusting of Jake's assurances that the wolves wouldn't intentionally harm Edward, I was confident that he would be just fine. I just knew, somehow, that he'd be back tonight. And he would be so pissed about Jake being here. Oh, to see his glorious, furious face when he finally gets into the house. I managed to hold back my evil little grin as I pulled Jake's arm back around my shoulder and snuggled into his side.

XxX

We'd been watching the movie for about an hour and I was so comfy leaning on my warm Jake. His cheek was resting on my head and every now and then he'd place a soft kiss on the top of my head. I had one arm stretched across his hard stomach and I was absent-mindedly toying with a stray thread on the hem of his shirt, not paying too much attention to the movie. Jake's hand around my shoulder was gently stroking up and down my arm, raising goose bumps along my flesh.

"Hmmmm… are you cold Bells?" he whispered into my ear, his hot breath tickling my neck.

"No, that just feels nice…" I gave him an affectionate squeeze. He chuckled.

I felt his hand drift lower and his thumb brushed against the side of my breast. No one had ever touched me there, Edward wouldn't allow it for fear of him "losing control". Just that one touch had me gasping in a sharp breath. Jake noticed. And repeated the action, applying more pressure as he swiped across that forbidden area.

"Jake…" I whispered, not sure what I wanted but just needing to voice… something.

"What is it Bella?" his voice was husky, thick with his obvious lust.

I moved my hand on his stomach, letting it slip below the hem of his t-shirt, gliding my fingers over the hard muscles of his stomach, fascinated by his silky smooth skin. He made a strangled noise and shifted his hips, I smiled and continued my attentions as I felt his hand gingerly move back toward my breast and I watched as he hesitantly and slowly cupped my small breast in his large hand.

"Bella…" his voice was barely a whisper. I looked up at him, his eyes burning with lust. His free hand came to my face, gripping my chin as he brought his lips to mine. His lips were soft, his mouth hot with the bitter taste of the beer we'd been drinking. His hand tightened on my breast as he slipped his tongue into my mouth, massaging mine gently with his. I felt his thumb brush across my hard nipple and couldn't stifle the moan it brought. My hand gripped at the waistband of his jeans, grasping at anything, I just needed to hold him. Suddenly his movement became frantic, his tongue moving against my insistently, dominating. His hand moved from my face, down my body and he gripped my ass firmly pulling me hard against his thigh. I moaned again, spurred on by his forceful actions. His hand slid up slightly, before pushing under the waistband of my jeans and down, under my panties. He grabbed at the flesh of my ass, kneading and massaging as I pulled at his jeans, not quite brave enough to explore below but needing to do something with my hands. Suddenly he pulled me down so I was led on my back along the sofa, Jake hovering over me, positioned between my legs, his hard arousal pressing into me as he stared into my eyes. I ran my hands under his shirt again, over the smooth muscles of his back. He flexed his hips into mine as I dug my nails into his back. Surprised at the feelings that friction brought out in my body I moaned, and pushed my hips into his involuntarily. His eyes darkened, he looked almost feral, before lowering his head to nip, lick and suck at my neck.

The feelings were overwhelming, I couldn't control my body's reaction to him as he ground his hips into mine, hitting that perfect spot over and over again. The only sounds were our clothes moving together and our mixed panting and moaning. Suddenly Jake sat up, that feral look still in his eyes. He grabbed at my shirt and without a word, ripped it in half down the front, exposing my breast to him. I'd never been so turned on in my life as he sat there looking down at my breasts, encased in an innocent white lace bra. He groaned before lowering himself back down onto me and pulling one of the cups down to free my breast. I watched, speechless as he lowered his head to my breast, placing a soft kiss on the tip of my nipple before taking it into his mouth. His swirled his tongue around it gently before suddenly sucking hard. The sensation, combined with the resumed grinding of his hips had me moaning and grabbing at his head. I fisted my hands in his hair, holding him to me as I arched my back, forcing his head to my breast, he hungrily sucked and nipped at my sensitive bud.

"Jake…Oh God.. that feels… I've never…"

"I know Bell's… I swear to god im gonna come in my fucking pants if we carry on much longer"

His words sent me over the edge, hearing how aroused he was was all it took. The tightening in my belly exploded and I screamed out his name as the orgasm rocketed through my body. Jake grabbed at my other breast, squeezing almost painfully. The pain only increased my pleasure and I moaned out his name as I hitched my leg over his hip, rubbing myself against his hardness like a wanton whore. I couldn't help it, that's what I was at this moment.

"Oh fuck Bella… That's so hot… Oh God…. Im gonna come…"

Jake's head was in the crook of my neck, his lips on the sensitive skin, it felt like he was biting at me but I could barely pay attention to that. His hips became erratic and his hands left my breasts, going under my back and up, taking a firm grip of my shoulders, anchoring me in place. I could only cling to him, my hands still fisted in his hair. I hitched my other leg over him, linking my ankles around his hips. The sensation of him rubbing against me was bringing forth another orgasm, I was nearly there. I pulled him into me with my legs, matching his thrusts with my own, greedily chasing my pleasure.

Jake let out a groan of pleasure as he pressed himself even harder against me, the noise and action signalling another orgasm to crash through my body. I clung to him, trembling as I rode out the sensation. Jake was trembling against me also, panting into my neck, I placed a kiss at his temple. He started to lift his head, turning it to my cheek when suddenly his weight was lifted off me in an instant.

I sat up, disorientated and confused at the almighty crash from across the room. Suddenly the house was filled with angry growling and snarling and out of nowhere Edward appeared infront of me, crouched into a defensive stance with his back to me. Jacob suddenly stood up from the floor, next to a huge crack in the wall roughly the shape of his body.

_Oh shit, Charlie is going to kill me._


	4. Chapter 4

"Edward! What the fuck?" I shriek, near hysterical. My question is ignored as Jake and Edward faced off, snarling at each other like a couple of rabid dogs. Enough.

I stormed in between the two idiot boys, turning to face Edward who finally seemed to notice I was in the room.

"Get out of the way Bella", he didn't take his eyes off Jake, speaking through clenched teeth.

"Don't come in here acting like a goddamn animal and tell me what to do Edward Cullen! Who the hell do you think you are?"

His eyes flickered to mine briefly, then back to Jake. He straightened up slowly and I could see out of the corner of my eye that Jake was hesitantly mirroring his action. When Edward met my eyes again, the fire in his had died. My heart clenched to see that… I didn't want him to give up!

"Do you want him Bella? The dog? If you do, tell me. I will leave you two alone. If its what you truly want I will go, I wont stand in your way."

The sincerity in his words chilled me to the core. Edward held my gaze, but for once he was unable to keep the emotions out of his eyes, I could read him so easily right now, the pain, the sadness and… hope.

I lowered my eyes, not able to stand that expression on Edward's beautiful face any longer, I slowly turned to face Jake who was trying unsuccessfully to hide his smug smirk.

"Jake, I need to have a private talk with Edward… Do you mind?" I raised my eyebrows, hoping he'd take the hint and leave. The smirk dropped from his face and he crossed his arms across his chest.

"Anything you need to say to the leech you can say in front of me Bella, I won't leave you alone with him".

"What exactly, do you think I'm going to do to her, dog?" Edward spat out.

Jake snorted, "Well, my first thought was kill her… Or of course, turn her. I think I'd rather be around to prevent that".

"Enough you two", I'd grown tired of their squabbling, "Jake, please go, I need to talk to Edward. I will call you in the morning", he opened his mouth to argue, "Jake, PLEASE, go."

"Fine", he huffed, "but I will expect a call first thing or I'll be paying your precious Cullen's a little visit".

I rolled my eyes as Jake glared at Edward before stomping out of the house, slamming the front door loudly behind him. Suddenly, an awkward silence fell between me and Edward; I didn't know what exactly I had planned to say to him. Thankfully, he broke the ice.

"You stink of dog. It's disgusting", Edward wrinkled his nose up for effect.

I rolled my eyes. "If it's so offensive to you Edward, feel free to leave".

Edward sighed but said nothing as he slumped down in Charlie's chair, uncharacteristically inelegant.

"So Bella, do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Want him? The dog?"

"No Edward", I sighed, then lowered my voice to barely above a whisper, "I want you….. always you", I could feel the blush heating my face as I spoke my confession to the carpet at Edward's feet, too embarrassed to look at his face. Suddenly before I even noticed that he'd moved I felt his cold, gentle fingers under my chin, tilting my head up so I couldn't avoid his eyes any longer.

"You cannot believe how relieved I am to hear you say that", he breathed the words, almost reverently, his sweet breath washing over my face.

He slowly lowered his head to mine and his cool lips gently brushed over mine, almost hesitantly. I immediately reached out and grasped at his shirt over his chest, pulling him towards me. He complied willingly enough and I returned his kiss and was thrilled when he matched my own enthusiasm, deepening the kiss and winding his arms around me, resting his hands just above my ass. I moaned into his mouth as his hands lowered and squeezed. He responded with a moan of his own and pulled me towards him, pressing himself, and his obvious arousal, into me. My hands ran up his chest to wind around his neck of their own accord, my fingers flexing into the soft hair at the top of his neck. I pulled him to me, impossibly closer as I rubbed myself against him, all thoughts of propriety well and truly lost by now.

He pulled away, breathing heavily, and rested his forehead against mine, his eyes tightly closed.

"Bella, I should go…"

"What? Go where?"

"Away. God Bella…. Do you have any idea what you're doing to me? My control is hanging by the thinnest of threads right now. If we carry on with this I will carry you up the stairs caveman style and take you, I won't be able to stop myself, you're just too tempting." I could hear the humor in his voice, but it was laced with warning.

"Do it Edward. I told you, I want you…..". I pressed myself against him again and tilted my head to kiss and suck at the skin of his neck. It wasn't all that easy being that it was like kissing a marble statue. The harsh breath he gasped in clued me into the fact that I was on the right track however. I felt his hands move to my hips, his fingers flexing once before he gently pushed me away.

"I want you Bella", he kisses me softly, chastely, on the lips, "I want you so much….".

"But?"

"But we can't love, it's too dangerous…. God… I want to so badly but I could hurt you… Bella, I could_ kill_ you….".

I looked up to meet his pained expression; I took his face in my hands and placed a firm kiss on his lips before pulling back.

"You won't kill me Edward. You won't hurt me. Please do this. I want it. I want you, so badly. I'm sick of all these games, I'm ready", I stretched up on my toes to speak into his ear, my hands moving down to grip his arms, I lowered my voice, "Make love to me Edward. Take me upstairs, make love to me.. then… I want you to change me".

I could feel his whole body freeze, stilling the way only Edward could.

"Bella….."

"Don't Edward. I want this" I pulled back and looked him confidently in the eye, "If you can stand there, look me in the eye and tell me you don't want that then fine… Can you tell me honestly that you don't want us to be together, forever…?"

He frowned, as though trying to decipher something baffling. I didn't lower my gaze; I wanted to see everything that flickered across his face. I could see the internal war raging and felt bad for his discomfort, but if we were going to try to do this then we needed to stop messing around. I wanted him, forever. I knew he wanted me too and I was sick of waiting. The games were getting boring, he was mine and I was his. I wanted to be changed and I wanted to start my new life. With Edward. I was dragged from my internal musings by Edward gently cupping my chin, his eyes had softened.

"I want you Bella, forever. I've never wanted anyone, or anything, like I want you…. But, I don't want to hurt you. There's nothing I fear more." I tried to speak up but he cut me off. "Just wait Bella, afterwards when you're… changed…. It will be safe, I won't be able to hurt you then. Please baby, just wait… please".

"No Edward. I'm done waiting. We can be careful, please, it'll be alright. Let's just try? That's all I ask….." I reached down and took his hand in mine. Edward looked down at our joined hands before looking back up to meet my eyes, a smirk on his face.

"Before we even think of trying anything, you need to go and shower. You stink of dog, it's disgusting…".

I swatted his chest playfully before turning on my heel and making for the stairs. Pausing at the bottom step I turned back to him, amused to find him quickly snapping his head up – he'd been checking out my ass – busted!

"I'll be thinking about you Edward, while I'm all hot… and wet… and soapy…"

His mouth dropped open.

"You don't play fair Swan".

"My room, ten minutes Cullen".

With that I ran up the stairs, not giving him a chance to say anything in response. Now, for the quickest shower I've ever taken!

**XxXxXxX**

**Sorry for the delay with this chapter, I have had internet problems. Next one will come much quicker, I promise.**

**And, do I sense a lemon on the horizon? Hmmm…. We will see!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Lemons ahead and I hope that this wont be offensive to anyone, as I read it back through I realised it could be difficult for some to read. It's all entirely consensual but… He is a vampire, she is a human… This is from her perspective so what he thought was happening and what she felt happening might not have entirely matched up.**

**But, if you are likely to be offended please don't read. I certainly don't want to upset anyone!**

I scrubbed, buffed, plucked and shaved in record time found myself naked and staring at my reflection in the mirror, not quite able to believe what I was about to do. Was Edward serious? He had been dead set against us going any further until I was changed, maybe he was just trying to teach me a lesson for what I did with Jake. My stomach lurched at the reminder of our hormonal driven dry humping session on the couch, what was I thinking? Thank god Jake and Edward didn't kill each other.

My mind ran through various scenarios – Edward laughing at me and walking out. Edward shouting at me, calling me all sorts of names I wasn't sure he even knew – and walking out. And worst of all, walking into my bedroom and finding it empty, and my Edward long gone. My breath caught in my throat at that thought. I shook my head to rid myself of these alarming thoughts, grabbed the fluffy blue towel off the rail and wrapped it tightly around me. It wasn't really long enough, barely coming to halfway down my thighs. As long as I didn't bend over I'd be fine though. Although, if all goes to plan the towel will be discarded soon enough anyway.

I straightened up, watching my reflection as I ran my fingers through my wet hair, quickly trying to detangle it as best I could. Then I took a deep breath for courage and turned on my heel and out of the door.

My heart was hammering in my chest as I reached out to the doorknob, with every last bit of courage I possessed I twisted the handle and pushed the door open. I breathed a sigh of relief as I looked over to see Edward sprawled out on my bed, his eyes greedily taking in every inch of my half-naked form. From the hungry look on his face I think it is safe to say that he approved of my choice of attire for the evening. I stepped through the door, closing it behind me and twisting the lock, just incase. Edward smirked as he rose from the bed, seemingly unable to force his eyes away from the path they were making up and down my body. I suddenly felt self-conscious, seeing him fully clothed and me in only a towel. I found myself clutching at the top of the towel, suddenly terrified it would just fall down of its own accord. I could feel my face heating just at the thought of that, and at the same time all my insecurities and doubts about us rose to the forefront of my mind. I could never be good enough for Edward, I would only ever be a disappointment. No wonder he left me. I could feel my heartbeat increasing at the panic that thought set in my mind, I couldn't go through that again, I couldn't lose him again. I wouldn't survive.

I could see a frown form on Edwards face and he reached out and, so gently, cupped my face in his cool hand. I hesitantly looked up at him, all at once doubting what he was doing here.

"What is it baby? What's wrong?" his voice was quiet, soothing. I closed my eyes and just shook my head, unable to articulate all the thoughts going around my head right now. Suddenly I felt his strong arms around me as he pulled me into him tightly. I took comfort in him, burying my face in his chest and inhaling his scent that was indescribable, yet entirely Edward.

"Please Bella, tell me what's wrong", he sounded so desperate, almost as though he were in physical pain at the thought of my unhappiness. I still couldn't bring myself to speak, not sure what to say. He slowly pulled away, stroking my damp hair gently as he looked intently into my eyes – searching for the answer no doubt. I imagine he was hating being unable to read my thoughts right now.

"Sweetheart, you look terrified…" he looked down at me, his eyes softening and the dam broke, I let out a strangled sob and the tears soon followed. Edward pulled me to him again, holding me tightly to his chest. I could hear him talking, his soothing velvet voice calming me, but I couldn't make out the words he was saying over my own sobbing. He was holding my head to his chest gently with one hand whilst the other rubbed slow, calming circles into my back. After a short while the tears subsided and I wiped at my face with my hands. I couldn't bring myself to pull away from him though; I was utterly humiliated by my ridiculous breakdown.

"Bella…. Please, tell me what's wrong, I'm going crazy here", he pleaded.

I pulled away slowly, keeping my eyes trained firmly on Edward's feet, I couldn't bear to look at his face with the spectacle I had just made of myself.

"I'm sorry.. You must think I'm ridiculous…" I mumbled to the floor before scrubbing my hands across my face again to rid myself of the traitor tears, "Could I be anymore pathetic?"

"That's enough Bella". The sharpness of Edward's tone startled me into looking up at him. His eyes were determined, yet still held a hint of concern. "You are NOT pathetic, I would never think that. I couldn't ever think that of you…." He reached over to cup my face again, gently wiping away the last of the tears on my cheek with his thumb, "I love you Bella, it kills me to see you upset and not knowing what I can do, or what I did". His face pulled into a frown again, he was blaming himself.

"Edward no!" I grabbed his hand on my cheek, pulling it down between us and holding it in both of mine, "I was just being stupid, I let all of my insecurities about me and… and, us…" I took a deep breath, "I just cant lose you again Edward. I cant go through that again, I wouldn't survive it. But, I know im not good enough for you… Of course you left me…."

"Bella, if I live a thousand years I will spend every single second of that time making it up to you. I will never forgive myself for leaving you".

My heart leapt at hearing him talking about us like that, that we would be together, forever. Suddenly everything clicked into place inside me. I was meant to be with Edward, it wasn't an issue of whether I deserved him or he me, we belonged together – forever. And I was done wasting time. I stepped forward slowly and ran my hand up his chest and round his neck, gently holding the back of his neck. He complied willingly enough as I pulled his head down to meet my lips. After a few moments he started to respond to the kiss, almost like a frozen statue melting. His hands were on me again, wrapping around my waist and coming to rest just above my ass that he liked so much. I wrapped both arms around his neck and reached up on my toes, pressing myself against him as he deepened the kiss. The sweet scent of him was all I could process, my mind was filled with him, Charlie could walk into the room guns blazing and I wouldn't have noticed.

I pulled away to catch my breath, moving my lips to his neck, I could hear his sharp intake of breath as I sucked at the sweet, marble skin of his neck. I slowly trailed my hands down to the buttons of his shirt and started undoing them. I'd made it halfway down before Edward grabbed both of my hands in his, effectively stilling my progress. I looked up at him and was shocked to see the storm of emotions brewing behind his golden eyes. Lust, desire, those were clear to see. Fear was there too, that thing I never wanted to see on his face.

"Bella… I don't think we should do this right now…"

"But, you said we were going to try Edward?" I could tell my voice sounded like a whiney child but I couldn't find it in me to care. I needed this so much.

"I just.. God, what if I hurt you, love? I couldn't even live with myself if I did something to you like… that. I never want to hurt you."

"You wont hurt me Edward, please!" I wasn't above begging, "Please, Edward, I want this so much. I need you, forever. But, while im still… me… human, I want this experience with you. I want to feel you, please Edward…."

I ran my hands over his chest as I resumed softly kissing and sucking at his neck and jaw. He stood, like a frozen statue, his hands unmoving on my lower back. I didn't relent; I reached up, knotting my fingers in the unruly hair at the back of his head as I sought out his lips. My chest brushed against his bare chest and the coldness, or perhaps the friction, made my nipples pebble almost immediately. It must have triggered something in Edward as his lips which had been unmoving were suddenly moving aggressively against mine as he reached down and grabbed my naked ass in both hands under the towel, pulling me up against his hard body. I quickly wrapped my legs around his waist and the immediate friction of his denim covered erection against my hot, naked centre felt so good, I was unable to stifle the loud moan I gave into his mouth as he pulled me hard against him. Edward pulled away suddenly, eyes blazing with lust as he looked at me.

"Please Edward… I love you, we need this… please…"

I heard a low growl from his chest before his lips were suddenly on mine again. Before I realised we'd moved I found myself on my back on my bed, my head resting on my mountain of pillows. Edward was hovering over me, his half open shirt now discarded. He looked exquisite with his pale skin almost shimmering in the moonlight. I had never seen anything more beautiful. He was looking down at me, seemingly frozen in the spot. I reached my hand up and placed it over his heart. He looked down at my hand before placing his over it, squeezing gently.

"We'll try Bella, but if I do anything… If I hurt you, at all, you have to tell me, ok?"

"I will do, I promise. You won't hurt me though Edward."

He lowered slowly so he was resting between my legs, propped up on one elbow so I could feel none of his weight on me. His face was inches from mine; I could feel his sweet breath cooling my face. I couldn't stop myself from reaching up, running my fingers gently from his temple, down the side of his face and along his jaw, I finished up running my thumb over his lips. We didn't break eye contact until I felt him pull my thumb into his mouth. I couldn't take my eyes off his mouth as I felt his cold tongue rolling around the tip of my thumb as he sucked gently. Such a simple gesture, and yet without doubt it was the most erotic thing I'd ever experienced.

He popped my finger out of his mouth and brought his lips to mine, kissing me softly, almost chastely.

"I love you so much Bella".

"I love you too Edward". I knew he needed to hear it. I would tell him I loved him as many times as he wanted, it would never stop being true.

He suddenly looked up at me and I was shocked to see the fear and doubt replacing the lust and desire that had been in his eyes.

"Bella… I…. I don't know what I'm doing".

I laughed, I couldn't help it. That didn't seem to amuse Edward as he scowled at me.

"Its ok, I don't know either, we'll work it out…" I leaned up to meet his lips and he returned my kiss with fervor. My hands roamed the expanse of his naked chest and back, wanting to touch every inch of his perfect body. I could feel his hand toying with the towel where it was tucked in over my breasts. I knew he wanted to undo it, but he was too gentlemanly to just go ahead. I decided to solve the problem for him. I put both hands on his chest and pushed gently. He immediately backed off as if he'd done something wrong. My poor, sweet Edward. He is going to have to stop getting so worked up. I smirked up at him so he'd know all was ok as I slowly unwrapped the towel from my breasts. Edward's eyes watched my hands intently and I watched him swallow several times. I'm surprised he wasn't drooling as he was looking down at me as though I was the tastiest meal he'd ever seen. Although… come to think of it, that's exactly what I was to Edward. I managed to suppress the inappropriate giggle threatening to bubble up. That would certainly ruin the mood.

I watched Edward as I opened the towel, allowing it to fall across the bed to either side of me so I was led on it. His eyes zeroed in on my bare breasts and didn't move. It was like he'd frozen to the spot again. Hopefully that was a good reaction; I was honestly beginning to get worried. Suddenly his head moved up, eyes locked with mine, the lust there was overwhelming and made me want him all the more.

"Bella…" he breathed my name, almost reverently before his lips descended on mine again. Our tongues fought for dominance and, as usual, his won. I just led back and enjoyed the unbelievably erotic sensation of having him over me, against me, in me, in any way I could. I felt his hand gently and hesitantly cup my breast. I gasped at the unexpected move and the coldness of his skin. My nipple hardened under his hand and I could feel his erection twitch against the zip of his pants that was pressed against my thigh. I moaned, closing my eyes and arching my back. I wasn't sure what it was I wanted but I knew Edward could bring it for me.

His hand squeezed my breast gently before he brushed his thumb over the erect nipple. The sensation shot straight to my core and I gasped. I'm sure he could smell the flood of my arousal, I should have been embarrassed at what this man was able to do to me but I wasn't. I was his, mind, body and soul. This only stands to prove it.

He flicked his thumb back across my nipple, eliciting another gasp from me.

"Does that feel good love?" his voice was almost hoarse with desire.

"So good… please…"

"Please what Bella? What do you want?"

I didn't answer; I didn't know what I wanted. I just moaned and squirmed beneath him, clamping my eyes shut. Suddenly I felt his cold mouth over my nipple, sucking the hard bud into his mouth and teasing it with his tongue.

"Oh, Edward…. That feels amazing" I was panting, barely coherent.

He teased my nipple for a little while longer before suddenly backing up and making eye contact again. There was something strangely erotic about having him look at me like that in this position. He was also breathing heavily, his face lined with determination.

"I want to touch you Bella…"

I frowned, not understanding. "You were touching me Edward, it felt wonderful".

"No.. um… I want to umm… you know… touch you…" I'd never seen him look so uncomfortable, I'm sure if Edward could blush he would be beetroot right now. Suddenly my brain clicked on and I worked out what he was asking.. He wanted to touch me… _there_.

I smirked up at him, biting my lip. "You don't have to ask permission Edward, I'm yours, always".

Some emotion flickered across his face but it was gone before I could recognise what it was. Edward looked down at me for a long moment, as if debating something internally.

"Umm.. I just want to, um.. make you…. Feel good… now" his stuttering was adorable, but suddenly his tone switched, like he'd gone into "Doctor" mode, "I know it's your first time Bella, and I know that it most likely won't be very comfortable for you when we, well, you know… So, I want to make sure you have at least one orgasm now. I would feel bad if you didn't".

I couldn't help the small laugh that came bubbling up. Edward was just as adorable when he was all business as when he was mumbling and stuttering. At least he was going to be a gentleman.

"umm.. that's really um, nice of you Edward. Sure, go ahead…" I didn't quite know what to say, my response sounded pathetic even as I heard myself saying it.

Edwards mouth lifted into that half smile I loved so much.

"Why, of course Miss Swan, lie back and get comfy". I couldn't help thinking he was making fun of me making fun of him. But, I complied. I waited to feel his hands on me, _down there_, I hadn't ever brought myself to orgasm "manually", it's not something I'd really thought of before meeting Edward and then after, well he spent most nights with me. And after he left, it was the last thing on my mind. I didn't really know the mechanics of how it was done, the dry humping incident was the closest I'd ever come…

I was pulled violently out of my internal musing by Edward's cold tongue licking the length of my slit. I gasped and tried to sit up but his hand firmly on my abdomen held me in place, I heard a playful growl before he spoke.

"Stay still Miss Swan, you did give me permission to do this…"

"I know it was just… unexpected…."

"Sshh, lie back. Relax".

I did as I was told, lying my head back into the pillows and closing my eyes, just enjoying the sensations he brought out in me. His technique probably needed some work (not that I had anything to compare to), but he soon located my clit and at the gasping and squirming that brought on, he decided to concentrate his efforts there. He sucked the little bud and then flattened his tongue, moving it rapidly over my clit at vampire speed. I was a sweaty, panting mess – so close! Suddenly and unexpectedly I felt him push two long fingers inside me and curl them up, immediately hitting that spot inside me. I had never felt anything like it, my whole body tightened; I could feel my walls clamp down tight on his fingers as he continued to move them inside me. Suddenly, like an explosion of pure pleasure inside me my whole body tensed, the sensation spreading to every part of my body before I eventually came down, trembling, panting and gasping.

Edward was now placing soft, gentle kisses all over my stomach and breasts, allowing me to catch my breath.

"That…. Was… the…. Most…. Beautiful… thing… I… Have…. Ever… seen…" he said each word between kisses. But the time he made it back up to my face I had mostly got my breathing under control. He pressed several gentle kisses to my lips before pulling back and smiling down at me – definitely smug.

"That was amazing Edward, how did you know how to do that?"

The smug smile faltered for a second, "I umm.. didn't really, you just seemed to like what I was doing so I went with it…."

I smiled up at him and pulled him down for a kiss. As his body pressed against me I could feel his now rock hard erection pressing into my thigh and suddenly remembered that Edward hadn't yet experienced a mind blowing orgasm. Time to put that right….

I reached my hands down, grasping at the buckle of his jeans. Edward moved from my lips, trailing kissing down my jaw to my neck as I fumbled with the buckle.

"Are you sure Bella? We don't have to". The strain I could hear in his voice told me that he really didn't want to be saying that. I finally got the buckle and button undone and yanked the zip down.

"Im sure. I want you, inside me."

Edward groaned before jumping up and removing both his jeans and boxers in vampire speed, before I knew what had happened he was kneeling between my legs, looking down at me again. I couldn't take my eyes away from his erection, standing proud from his body. I'd felt it before, but never seen it. It was bigger than I was expecting. A lot bigger. I suddenly felt my chest tighten as I felt myself begin to panic. How would he ever _fit_? Edward took my hand and squeezed gently.

"Its ok baby, I wont hurt you…" his voice was so soothing I couldn't help but believe him "I promise I'll be so gentle… here", he slowly placed my hand over his erection. I could feel something throbbing along the rock hard appendage, almost like a pulse. It was the strangest sensation. Edward closed his hand gently over mine, his breathing becoming heavier. He was enjoying my touch as much as I enjoyed his. Deciding to test my new found courage I tightened my grip on his cock and slowly slid my hand towards the head, running my thumb over the sticky drop there in circles. Edwards breath hitched and he placed his hand over mind more firmly now, stilling me.

His voice was hoarse and strained as he spoke. "Whilst I would love nothing more than to finish what you've started here sometime, if you touch me anymore right now I am gonna come before I've even got close to being inside you."

I blushed. I hadn't thought of that. "Oh, sorry….".

Edward rubbed his thumb gently over my hand where he still held it on his cock and let out a tight laugh.

"You don't ever need to apologise for that my love".

He gave my hand another light squeeze before removing both of them and lowering himself over me again. I could feel his cock pressing against my naked thigh and the desire to have him inside me was suddenly overwhelming. I lifted my hips up to his instinctively, trying to position us where we needed to be.

"Please Edward… " I whispered…

He took the hint and leaned down with one hand, lining himself at my entrance. He placed a soft kiss on my lips, whispering once again his love for me as he pressed forward slowly, not taking his eyes from mine the whole time.

I had expected pain, discomfort and was actually mildly surprised when it didn't feel too bad. A little stretching maybe, but hardly the pain that everyone seems to talk about. I breathed a sigh of relief, obviously I got lucky. Suddenly Edward stilled above me, he looked down with that same concern in his eyes from before…

"Are you ok Bella….? This might, um, hurt a bit… now…"

Right. That's why it didn't hurt, he hadn't got there yet. Dumb Bella.

I reached up and grabbed his left arm with my right, just wanting to anchor myself to him, I didn't cope well with pain.

"I'm good, its ok", I nodded at him, hoping my expression was more confident than I truly felt.

He placed one more soft kiss on my lips before pressing forward in one quick thrust. The pain was immediate; it felt like he was ripping right through me. I could help crying out as I gripped Edwards arm tightly. He stilled immediately and leaned down, kissing away tears I hadn't realised I'd shed.

"I'm ok, it was just, unexpected you know? I'm good, it wasn't that bad."

And truly, it wasn't. It had settled to an unpleasant sting almost immediately, certainly an improvement on the overwhelming pain of before. Edward moved hesitantly, slowly and I tried to mask my discomfort but the concern in his eyes told me I wasn't doing a good job.

"Are you sure you're ok Bella? We can stop… I can't bear to hurt you".

I laughed. "We both knew it wouldn't be entirely comfortable the first time. I'm fine Edward, still riding the high of that orgasm."

He smiled, but it still looked strained. He wouldn't take his eyes off mine. I reached up and linked my fingers around his neck, pulling me to him. He came willingly enough and his lips met mine in a passionate kiss which he immediately deepened. I found I was less concentrated on the discomfort I was feeling when I had something else to occupy my mind so I threw myself into the kiss, winding one hand into his messy bronze locks whilst the other gripped onto his muscular back. It was a strange sensation to feel his marble skin ripple beneath my fingers.

Suddenly he pulled away from the kiss, dropping his head to the crook of my neck as his thrusts sped up, becoming deeper and more erratic. I wound both arms around his neck, both clinging to him and comforting him as he chanted his love for me over and over. I knew his control was hanging by a thread, his thrusts were painful now, faster, almost vampire speed. I don't think he had much control over that, he was close, I could tell. As his pace increased again and one hand gripped firmly to the back of my head, holding me in place, I couldn't stop myself from crying out, the pain now becoming unbearable as the speed and friction increased. He was pounding into me, harder and harder, I could hear him growling into my neck, he sounded almost feral; he'd given up his chant. I clung to him, not knowing what else to do. Suddenly he growled louder and pushed hard into me, one hand suddenly gripping my hip hard and pulling me to him. He was so deep inside me; I couldn't stifle the cry or the tears I let out at the sensation of him filling me. Suddenly the pain of him inside me was overshadowed by a searing pain in my neck. White hot agony seared through me and I tried to push Edward away, frantically hitting at his shoulders, anything to push him away. He was biting me, drinking me. I could vaguely feel his cock twitching inside me, it was the strangest sensation. I could feel myself getting weaker, my arms suddenly too heavy to hold up, they fell limply to my sides. My vision was blurring, and the last thing I saw before it all went black was Edward pulling away from me violently, bright red blood lining his lips, my blood, as he looked down at me in horror.

"Bella… Oh god… no… what have I done?.. please…. Bella… stay with me…."

I could hear him crying and see him holding my hand but could no longer feel anything, My eyes drifted shut and I slipped into the blackness.

XxXxX

**I'm sorry if I haven't responded to your review, how useless am I? I really do apologise, I have no internet access at home so it's making it very difficult to get online, I figured an update would probably be more popular for the very brief time I have been able to get on a computer. **

**Thank you for the reviews though, I really appreciate them and WILL respond. I'd love some reviews on this, I realise it may have been difficult reading for some and nearly "dumbed" it down a bit but in the end I thought I'd just put it up as I saw it happening in my mind (Edward was rather out of control, hence the biting!) and hope that it didn't upset anyone. I do have quite a perverted mind I think, this was fairly tame for me!**

**I have a bit of the next chapter written in EPOV, but I'm not sure whether I'm better off sticking to BPOV. Let me know what you'd prefer!**

**x**


	6. Chapter 6

**EPOV**

I had never felt anything like the pleasure I found in Bella. All of my senses were focused on her, she was all around me and I had never loved her more than I did at the moment I was buried inside her, when we were truly one. After all the mistakes I had made, after all the games that we played, we finally were together. I was hesitant to make love to her, I knew the dangers, but I trusted in the fact that I wouldn't, couldn't, ever hurt my Bella. Surely doing anything to cause her harm wouldn't be possible?

I got lost in the pleasure. My control, the thin thread I had, finally snapped and I was consumed by the feelings and my mind shut off everything but the pleasure. I was vaguely aware at some point of Bella clawing at my back and shoulders, panting in my ear. Her response spurred me on, her pleasure at what I was giving her made me want to go faster, deeper. If I could have, I would have crawled inside my Bella. I never wanted this feeling to end.

Suddenly, a primal instinct seemed to overtake me. The beautiful scent of her blood filled my mind, the pounding of her heart was all I could hear. The rational part of me was screaming to stop, to realise what was happening but the instinct to bite took over and I couldn't stop it. My teeth sank through the creamy skin of Bella's neck like a hot knife through butter. The hot blood spurted into my mouth, nothing had ever tasted sweeter and I knew then I couldn't stop. As I swallowed that sweet nectar my orgasm hit me, I let out a feral growl that was muffled by Bella's neck, I pulled her tighter to me, never wanting to let go of the euphoria I was currently experiencing.

I felt her hands pushing against my shoulder, and then frantically pounding on me as her panic well and truly set in. That little sane part of me was screaming at me to stop but I couldn't, wouldn't! Bella's heartbeat picked up with her distress, banging in my head so loudly, before it finally started to slow. I tried to force myself to stop, all too aware that I was so close to killing the only person I have ever loved. Suddenly, Alice's shrill voice pierced through my mind, screaming at me to stop, that I was killing Bella. That piece of reality, my sister's panic, forced me backwards away from Bella. I could hear her racing toward Bella's house, still in the forest yet close enough for me to pick up her footfalls, and her mental screaming of course. Absently I wondered how on earth she didn't see this happening and warn me? My irritation was short lived when I looked down at the sight before me.

Bella's skin, usually creamy and healthy in its paleness was a pallid, deathly white. Her eyes were dull as they looked up at me, her lips trying to form words by failing. Her neck…. The mangled mess I had left sickened me. My razor sharp teeth had shredded through skin and muscle. If I was capable of vomiting I would have in revulsion of what I had done.

Bella looked up at me, pleading for something. She couldn't tell me what, but I imagined she wanted me the hell away from her. I couldn't leave her, I could never do that. Despite everything I had done to her, I loved her more than anything, more than my own life. The severity of what I had done suddenly washed over me and I let out a sob, grasping at her hand. I noticed the coldness of it, almost the same temperature as me. As I looked up to Bella's eyes I noticed them glazing over.

"Bella… Oh god… no… what have I done?.. please…. Bella… stay with me…." I cried and sobbed at her, gripping her hand as tight as I could. I'm sure I broke her fingers but I couldn't find it in me to care. I'd killed her.

Bella's eyes met mine once more. She looked almost peaceful, a small smile playing around her lips. Then her eyes closed and she was gone. The sob that I let out was feral, full of pain and mourning.

**Alice POV**

Racing through the woods as fast as we could go, I knew it still wasn't fast enough. Jasper and I were nearly at the house now, I knew Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie weren't too far behind.

"Alice, I think… she's gone… Edward, he is so…. God, I cant bear it…." Jasper barely stuttered out his words, the weight of Edward's grief weighing him down so. I knew what he was feeling, I had seen Edward sitting over Bella's body, screaming and mourning the loss of his love.

"Jazz, you should stay here, wait for the others, imagine what it will be like in there".

We stopped at the foot of Bella's bedroom window. Jasper nodded once before we heard Edward's heartbreaking scream. I turned and propelled myself up to the partially open glass and through into the room. Although I had seen this in my vision, it didn't compare to seeing it in front of me with my own eyes.

Edward was hunched over Bella's body, her hand clasped in both of his. He was rocking back and forth, sobbing, and completely naked save for the sheet that was hanging precariously around his hips. Bella's nakedness was mostly hidden by Edward's body. The smell of blood and sex was thick in the air and I had to stop myself from breathing to keep from finishing what Edward had started. Bella's blood was the sweetest I had ever smelled.

I approached Edward cautiously, as a human would a frightened animal. I was pretty sure he knew I was there but in his current frame of mind who knows how much attention he was paying to his surroundings. I reached out and put my hand to his shoulder, squeezing gently.

"Edward.." I kept my voice soft, soothing.

Edward's speed surprised me, as did the vicious snarl that ripped from his throat. He spun, swiping at me with his nails, shredding clean through my silk blouse. I jumped back just in time to stop him from actually hurting me. By the time Jasper had made it into the room Edward was pressed against the far wall, Bella's body cradled to his chest like a baby. Both of them were completely naked and the blood smeared on Edward's hands and mouth as well as Bella's blood-soaked neck and shoulder made for a gory sight.

Jasper put himself slightly in front of me in response to Edward's defensive stance. The low growl continued to rumble from Edward, his eerily red eyes regarding us only as threats to his Bella. We had to calm him down. I slowly stepped forward, around Jasper, my hand gently gripping his arm to reassure him that it was ok.

"Edward, we aren't going to do anything to Bella, I promise you, we need to get her to Carlisle, see if we can help her…"

He growled again, louder this time.

"I killed her. No one can help her."

"Let Carlisle see Edward. Her heart is still beating slowly, you can hear it can't you? You haven't killed her, but the change will be starting any minute now, we have to act quickly".

"I can't just suck the venom out this time Alice", he sneered my name, "I took too much, there isn't enough blood left".

"Then let us help her through this Edward, make her as comfortable as we can".

I took a hesitant step towards him and he snarled again, threatening and deadly. He angled his body so Bella was away from us but any further discussion was halted as Bella's whole body tensed in spasm in Edward's arms. Her eyes opened and rolled back, her hands clenched into fists and her back arched. Then her mouth opened and she let out a bloodcurdling scream that struck to my core. Edward gently laid her on the floor and kneeled over her. One hand gripped Bella's, the other gently ran over her blood-soaked hair as he murmured his apologies to her between sobs. It didn't stop the screaming, nor the way her body writhed in pain. I could only imagine the agony my brother was going through right now, it must have rivaled Bella's.

I was just about to try to talk Edward into letting us help Bella again when the sound of Charlie crashing through the front door yelling Bella's name cut through her screams. How had we not heard him? We were so engrossed in the drama unraveling here we'd totally missed him arriving home. Bella's screams could probably be heard down the street.

Charlie's heavy footfalls could be heard on the stairs as he yelled Bella's name. In a flash Edward had scooped her into his arms and dashed out of the window with her. Within a couple of seconds he was well into the woods and beyond Charlie's, or our, reach. Grabbing Jaspers arm I quickly made for the window but paused at the bottom. We needed to know Charlie's reaction, what he was going to do about Bella's disappearance.

The door crashed open. Charlie yelled Bella's name one more time before letting out a strangled noise, somewhere between a shout and a sob. I heard the gun he must have been carrying clattered to the ground before Charlie took another step towards the bed. My heart sank for him, thinking of the scene he was looking at right now. The bed looked like the scene of a murder. I suppose that's what it was. The pillows and much of the top of the bed were saturated in Bella's blood, the sheets ripped and shredded in parts, the duvet thrown haphazardly to the floor. I heard the rustle of fabric as Charlie must have picked up some of the discarded clothes on the floor, then the clunk of a heavy metal object hitting the wooden floor. Even without seeing I knew that was Edwards's belt buckle. His Cullen Crest belt buckle. I remember him wearing it when he left this morning.

Charlie let out an angry growl of his own before grabbing his police radio from his pocket.

"Dave, its Charlie. Get everyone here… to my house… The Cullen kid, the little shit has done something to my Bella… Search the whole goddamn town until you find him!"

Charlie snarled the last sentence. We had to find Edward, fast.

**A short one this time, and not overly exciting, more of a "filler" chapter. I'm sorry. I'd also like to apologise for any typos or anything like that. I had a rather nasty eventing fall with my horse a couple of weeks ago and broke my collar bone! (Horse is fine!). Typing has been…. An experience. At least I have had plenty of time to get this done, I needed it. The next chapter will be better, I promise.**


	7. Chapter 7

_I cant breathe._

Every breath I suck in burns in my lungs. I'm gasping for breath, panicking. The pain is too much. Fire coursing through my veins. I scream. And scream. And scream. I don't know how long passes; days? Hours? Please God, don't say it's only been minutes? The torture is unbearable. I cry, beg, plead, with anyone to make it stop, anything to make the pain go away. I can hear a voice, sobs matching my own, soft words spoken in my ear to soothe me. I should know who that is but my brain is on fire, the whole of my body is on fire. I can't focus. I can't think. Eventually, I can't scream anymore, even my voice has deserted me. I can't cry, I have no more tears. I let out silent, shuddering sobs. My eyes can't focus on anything, nothing here I recognize. Everything is a blur, a daze, like trying to remember a dream on waking. Nothing is right. Nothing is safe. The panic builds again, my heart is hammering, I can hear it in my head, pounding against my ribs, in my skull, everywhere. Faster. Faster. Faster. The vaguely formed thought flits through my mind; I'm having a heart attack. How is that possible at 18? Am I 18? Who knows. I gasp for breath again. I feel someone touching my hand but it doesn't feel like _my_ hand. My brain can't fathom what's going on, I feel detached, disembodied. I want my mother, my father, my familiar surroundings. I can't remember what they look like but I want them. The pounding in my head - or is it my chest – is getting louder, more frantic. Murmured words by my ear, they don't make sense to me. A squeeze on the hand. My hand? I think I'm crying again, I just want it to stop. I might have said that out loud but I don't know if I'm even capable of making words now. I want to die. I want it to be over. Anything to escape this torture. Then I feel it. The Rapture. My heartbeat is wild, erratic and then, it sounds no more. My heart stops. The pain stops. I take a deep, cleansing breath, finally the pain is over. I think I smile as all consciousness leaves me. Beautiful death at last, I welcome it with open arms.

xXx

**EPOV**

My only thought is escape. I have to get away from Bella's father, from my family and from Forks. I need time to sort things out in my own head before answering to everyone else. And I need to help Bella. My Bella. What have I done?

We are deep in the woods by now, barely any light is breaking through the thick canopy the trees provide. All animals have scattered upon picking up my scent – they know a predator better than any human. I slow to a walk needing to stop, to organise my thoughts. Before I have a chance Bella's body tenses in my arms again and she lets out another bloodcurdling scream. She is doing so well, her screams have been intermittent the last few minutes, she's trying to fight it, to be brave. I wish she would just let it out, it's easier that way.

I stop beside a small stream and lay Bella down on the soft bed of leaves and moss forming on the ground. She is crying now in quiet sobs. Her eyes stare straight up to the trees overhead, I don't know if she can't see me or if she just can't bear to look at me after what I've done. I mustn't dwell on that though, I need to help her.

She is so cold, but that won't be a problem now, it's too late for that. Though I will need to find us both some clothes. I pick up a handful of moss and soak it in the water, and use it to gently wash away the rapidly drying blood soaking her upper body. When she is as clean as I can make her I submerge my hands in the icy water. My stomach clenches as I watch the blood-red water wash down the stream. My Bella's blood. If I was capable of vomiting I undoubtedly would right now. Her life is washing away down that stream and it's because of me. If I had my phone on me I would probably be calling Carlisle now for help, he would know what to do. But it's just me, I have to look after Bella. She is my responsibility and I won't let her down. In this at least, I can show her that I love her more than anything else in my world.

I run my fingers gently over her forehead and through her hair. She flinches away as though it causes her pain and a sob leaves my throat. I can't do this alone, I need to do something, I need help. I scoop Bella up in my arms, wincing at the cry that leaves her. Suddenly she grabs at my shoulders; I look down into her face and am surprised to see her eyes focusing on mine.

"Edward. Please.. the pain… please… it hurts…. Make it stop" her eyes fill with tears before she clamps them closed, biting her lip as she holds back another cry of agony. I bow my head down, placing a soft kiss on her temple before moving my lips to her ear to whisper softly.

"I love you Bella… I'm going to make it stop, I promise".

Her hand lets go of my shoulder and she buries her face against my neck, muffling her cries into my skin. With a destination in mind I head north as fast as I can. I have to get her there, to safety, now.

xXx

I watch Bella writhe in agony on the bed, as much as she can anyway. We had to strap her down to stop her hurting herself, or anyone else, further. Her screams of agony have long since given way to gentle, pain-filled sobs that break my heart. She can barely speak louder than a whisper but I hear every word as she begs for it to end, for someone to end her pain. To kill her. Nearly three days have passed like this, trapped in this stark white room and I can't take it anymore. My heart will truly break and I will go mad with the weight of what I have done to my love if this doesn't end soon.

There is a soft knock at the door and my name is called quietly. I don't respond, I've barely spoken to anyone but Bella since I arrived. I know I'm being ungrateful, I owe them a lot, but my mind is consumed with Bella and I'm living through every second of her pain. If I could suffer this torture for her I gladly would, I think it would be less painful than sitting by helpless while she screams in agony through the worst pain imaginable.

They don't try to get me to answer again, I think by now they know that I won't. I hear the footsteps disappear down the hallway and stairs, hushed voices no doubt talking about me. I can't find it in myself to care. I pull my chair up closer to the bed and take Bella's cold hand in my own. The skin is hardening, it's almost as marble-hard as my own now. That's good, it won't be long. I squeeze her fingers gently but get no response. I whisper words of love and encouragement in her ear but am rewarded only with quiet sobs and croaking pleas for mercy for her suffering. I can't stop my own dry sobs from leaving me, if it weren't for my weakness Bella wouldn't be suffering like this.

I look at the clock on the wall. It's been over 80 hours since I bit Bella. Shouldn't it be over now? I reach for the phone on the bedside table, intent on caving in and calling Carlisle for help, but I am stopped when Bella's already furious heart rate picks up further. She gasps in another breath. She is having trouble breathing, I don't know if it's her lungs shutting down or just the panic at what is happening to her body.

"Please, I just want it to stop… please" she gasps out the words, crying again, pitifully weak.

I feel useless unable to help her. Her heartbeat pounds into my head, it's all I can hear. I savour every last beat knowing they are numbered. I wouldn't be surprised if a human would be able to hear her heart as loud as it is! It's nearly time, finally it's almost over. I grip her hand tighter and lean my head down to her ear, inhaling the scent of my new Bella, strawberries and summer.

"It's nearly over Bella, you're so brave. Just a few minutes longer my love".

I place a gentle, lingering kiss on her lips and her heart stops. A small smile spreads across her face and her expression is one of pure serenity. I squeeze her hand again and lean over her, wanting to make sure I'm the first thing she sees with her new eyes. I hope she will forgive me for what I've done. Why isn't she waking up?

"Bella?"

She doesn't move. She is an exquisite statue, unmoving and impenetrable. She looks like she could stay this way for eternity. My very own Sleeping Beauty. The thought chills me to the core. My hand cups her cheek, my thumb runs over the perfect plains of her face, now more angular but still Bella. I feel moisture and realise that I'm removing the very last essence of her humanity. I don't know why, I can't explain the urge, but I raise my finger to my lips, tasting the salty tears on my tongue. The moment feels so intimate, a part of Bella inside me – no matter how small, it is important. But, why isn't she moving?

"Bella?" I repeat her name, more insistently this time.

"Bella? Wake up. It's over baby, come back to me".

Panic seizes me.

Oh god. Something has gone wrong. I drained her, I know I did. I took too much! She has suffered all of that agony for over 3 days and for what? There will be no eternity for us. My Bella. She's a shell, she's not in there and not coming back to me. No Bella. There is nothing for me now.

A strangled cry escapes my throat and I back away from Bella's unmoving form. My back hits the wall and I can't stop my knees from buckling from under me. I sink to the floor and rest my forehead on my knees. I don't move. I will stay like this forever. I will sit here with my love for eternity. We will be forever. If it's the only eternity I can give her then that is what she will have. I told her I would never leave her; I don't intend to break that promise.

I don't know how long I sat there unmoving; it could have been seconds or years. I am brought out of my inward reflection by the sound of the door slamming open next to me. I instinctively jumped up, placing myself between the intruder and my Bella. I crouch into a defensive pose, giving a warning growl to stay back. I had failed Bella so much, but I would not fail to protect her now when she needed me.

"Edward, look… Look at Bella…" she said.

I turned away from her and back to the bed.

xXx

**BPOV**

I was lost in the peaceful dark that surrounded me. There was no sight or sound, only blissful quiet. For a second I thought I heard something, urgent words whispered from far away, but they disappeared like a voice on the wind and I couldn't find the urge to try to follow the words back to wherever they were coming from. I couldn't feel my body, I could feel nothing. No hot, no cold. And finally, no pain. The fire had left me at last and all I want to do was bask in the beautifully euphoric feeling of nothing. I couldn't believe that nothing would feel so wonderful

Gradually feelings started seeping into my safe cocoon. I was aware that I was lying on my back, and I could feel the softness of the expensive sheets beneath the bare skin of my arms and shoulders. I moved my fingers and was amazed at the heightened sense that allowed me to feel all the different textures in the fabric of the sheet below me. There was something bound tightly around my wrists. I tried to lift my hands but they were held down, I could barely move them more than an inch or so. The feeling of being trapped alarmed me and my eyes flew open. I took in the white ceiling above me. It wasn't from my bedroom; I knew that although I couldn't remember what my bedroom actually looked like. My sharp eyes were able to pick out all the little imperfections in the ceiling. It was really quite beautiful. My mind was suddenly focused on a door to my right slamming open and the sound of a threatening snarl filled the room around me. Instinctively the need to protect myself took over and my body acted of its own accord, twisting off the bed, ripping the leather restraints clean off my wrists and ankles. I found myself on my feet, crouched into the corner of the room. Four sets of eyes were focused on me and the snarling was getting louder. The people, three women and one man, all so painfully beautiful, watched me with expressions varying from amusement to contempt.

The man, so familiar yet so unknown, approached me slowly, his hands held up as if in surrender. He approached as one would a cornered animal, wild and dangerous and prone to attacking when provoked. Is that what I looked like? Dangerous and wild?

"Bella… I know it must be very strange for you, its all so new.. But I promise we're not going to hurt you. Please my love…" his words trailed off but my mind was still playing them over and over with perfect recall. His voice. The beautiful musical quality was so familiar and yet it felt as though I was hearing it for the very first time. I knew this man; I know that I know him! The question was, could I trust him? He advanced again slightly, so slowly.

"Please Bella, its ok.. calm down.. I'm here, I'm not going to let anything hurt you ever again".

Calm down? Suddenly the realisation hit me that the snarling that had grown ever louder was coming from me. The fact confused me. Surely I should know if I'm snarling like some rabid animal. I straightened up slowly, my eyes darting between the four people in the room, not wanting to take my glance off any of them for too long, lest I let my guard down.

One of the women stepped forward confidently. Her expression held a faint sneer as if to make sure I was well aware that she was in no way afraid of me. I didn't like her. She was stunning. Very tall, as tall as the beautiful man, and with strong, feminine features. Her hair was golden blonde and not a strand out of place, her skin looked like the finest porcelain. Yes, stunning. I hated her.

I regarded her warily as she stepped up beside the man, placing her hand on the bare skin of his arm where he had turned up the sleeves of his shirt. My eyes zeroed in on that possessive contact, suddenly a strong feeling welled up inside me but I couldn't name it. I just knew that it was taking every ounce of strength I had to stop myself from attacking this blonde stranger. I tore my eyes from her hand to watch her lean into his ear, her lips inches from his skin.

"Come on Edward, let's go downstairs and leave her to calm down…"

Edward._ Mine_.

The vicious snarled ripped from my chest and before I knew what was happening I was across the room, hurling myself at the blonde slut with her hands all over what is mine. I could hear shouted words but couldn't make out what they said; my focus was all on the slut. The impact of my body hitting hers surprised me as we were propelled into the wall several feet behind her. The plaster cracked and splintered behind her head and shoulders as I pinned her to the wall.

"He's mine!" I snarled. The words sounded foreign to my own mind, like I was speaking for the very first time, yet as I spoke them I knew the truth in them.

"Get your hands off me you goddamn crazy newborn" the slut spat at me. I snarled louder and slammed her harder into the wall, marveling at the creak and groan of the concrete below. My strength made me smile.

"Make me….. slut".

Her face contorted in rage, clearly I'd hit a sore spot! She growled at me and her hands came up to my arms trying to loosen my grip, I knew that she was putting all of her not inconsiderable strength into trying to prize me off of her but I barely even felt it. I did, however, feel the other hand that gripped my shoulder. As I spun to confront my attacker I flung the slut off to the side, not caring where her skanky self ended up.

The threatening growl rumbling up from my chest stopped short as I rounded on the beautiful jet black eyes before me. Suddenly, like watching a movie, scenes from another life flashed across my mind. Seeing him across a crowded cafeteria, gentle touches in a beautiful meadow, stolen kisses and nights spent in his arms. Other faces came to me, his family. I recognised them but couldn't put a name to the faces. I just knew I wanted to see them again. That awful day in the woods when he left me was replayed. He regarded me closely, I knew he could hear the harsh breath I sucked in, I was reliving it and every bit of pain came back full force. He left me. He didn't want me! No. No. He came back, he stayed with me. The final memory brought out a gentle sigh, his bare skin on mine, his hands all over my body, his mouth all over my body. And him, inside me, moving in me and loving me. My eyes moved down to his lips.

"Edward…."

He smiled, the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen. He cautiously moved his hand up to cup my face, I leaned into it and he stroked my cheek with his thumb.

"Bella… my love…."

"Goddamn fucking newborn WHORE!"

Her shrill screech had me snapping my head in her direction, the slut was furious as she stalked towards us.

"Tanya, fucking hell! Stop it, you're upsetting her!" he sounded exasperated.

I did the only thing I could think of. I grabbed what was mine by his arm and hauled him to the window, smashing it open before jumping out, dragging him with me. I landed lightly on the balls of my feet, slightly amused at my own sudden agility. The slut's, _Tanya's_, screeching brought me back to reality. Edward was saying something but I blocked him out, he'd have to wait. Taking a firm grip of his hand I dragged him into the thick woods surrounding the house. He was mine, and if I had to take him away from ALL other people to keep things that way then that's exactly what I'd do, whether he liked it or not.

**I think he's gonna like it, in the next chapter at least…. ;)**

**Review please, I love to read them!**


	8. Chapter 8

I don't know how far we ran, but I didn't stop until nightfall. My new legs propelled me furiously over the distance we crossed, such a strange feeling running so long and not feeling tired or out of breath. In other circumstances I would have stopped to marvel at my new, strong body but right now I needed to get us safe. Alone.

At first Edward had protested me dragging him along, trying to get me to slow down. At first he tried talking to me but I blocked out his words, his voice was like white noise in the back of my mind, I didn't need to know what he had to say, when I was ready to hear it he would be answering the questions I asked, not questioning me. When talking failed he tried in vain to yank his wrist from my grip but my superior strength meant that my fingers did not budge an inch from their vice-like hold on him. After a while he gave up, resigned to following along behind me like a chastised puppy.

I found I rather liked him that way.

Running through the thick forest we happened upon a rundown cabin; shack would be more appropriate. All the windows that weren't boarded up had been smashed, the door hung off from the top hinge, standing lop sided in the doorway. The steps leading up to it were cracked and broken and the roof bowed from the weight of the stagnant moss gathered on it. It was a sad little dwelling, so long forgotten and neglected. It was perfect.

Without breaking stride I pulled Edward behind me as I started up the four steps, pulling the door clean off its hinges as I opened it to allow us entry. I was still not used to my vampire strength it seemed. The smell of mould and decay hit me as soon as I walked into the small kitchen/living room, everything looked damp, the old couch to the right was positively rotting.

I hauled Edward infront of me, releasing his hand unexpectedly making him stumble before he was able to right himself. He straightened up, scowling at me and rubbing at the wrist I had just released.

"What the fuck are you playing at Isabella?" he growled out the words, his furious tone ignited my own rage.

"What am I playing at Edward?" I screeched, taking a step toward him and pushing him squarely in the chest with both hands. Again, my strength took me by surprise as Edward was flung several feet across the room, landing with a crash against the wooden wall, it cracked and splintered beneath his weight. He let himself fall to the ground, looking up at me with wide eyes full of the shock he felt at my outburst. I didn't allow it to stop me as I closed the distance between us.

"That was her wasn't it? Tanya Denali? The one who has been pining after you for decades. It was her!" my voice grew louder with each word ending with an ear piercing shriek that Edward visibly flinched away from as he cowered on the floor. His voice was softer when he spoke now, pleading.

"Bella, sweetheart, please calm down… you've been through so much, you're not thinking clearly…."

"Oh, I am thinking crystal clearly here Edward. So convenient that I find you shacked up with that whore while I'm indisposed for God knows how long! And to allow her to flaunt it infront of me… I should have ripped her fucking hands off for touching what is mine."

A feral snarl left my mouth, surprising even me. Edward rose slowly to his feet and reached out to me as if to take my hands in his.

"Bella… please…"

Rage swept through me and without a conscious command to do so my lungs let out a furious snarl as my right hand swiped out at Edward, leaving angry lines across his cheek where three of my fingernails made contact. I froze completely as the shock of what I'd done hit me. The injury on Edward's face was such a foreign concept to me, I had always assumed he couldn't be hurt, but the large grey/black gashes across his face proved that theory wrong. He raised a hand tentatively to his cheek, feeling the broken skin there and frowned.

"Care to retract the claws there next time kitten?" he laughed as I watched the wounds slowly heal and disappear. I gasped, my hand coming up to cover my mouth. It seemed none of my movements were conscious right now, my brain had clearly checked out.

"Edward… I'm…. I didn't mean… I'm…." I stuttered, unable to get the words out over my shock at what I had done. Edward smiled his disarming, crooked smile and closed the distance between us, placing his hands on my shoulders and looking deep into my eyes.

"Its ok sweetheart… You just don't know your own strength yet, it'll come. Just, try not to remove any of my limbs and we're all good".

My hand fell away from my mouth as my jaw dropped open. Did he really think I would stand here and rip him limb from limb? What the hell!

"I wouldn't do that Edward, don't even joke, its not funny" I spat the words at him, taken aback by my own fiery emotions.

"I was joking Bella.. c'mon, you need to feed," he took my hand and began leading me towards the door. I dug my heels in refusing to move an inch, he was trying to distract me knowing that right now, it wasn't a difficult task.

"Edward. I don't want to eat, I'm not hungry. I want to know what the hell has been going on"

His brows pulled together as he frowned at me, a look of concern apparent in his eyes.

"what do you mean you're not hungry? Bella, you must be starving love, come, let me take care of you and then we'll talk".

He pulled gently on my hand again, I snatch if out of his grip viciously.

"I said I don't want to eat" I screeched

He turned around to face me, slowly, as if trying not to startle me. He made his voice soft and honey-smooth.

"Bella, my love.. I'm just trying to take care of you, please…"

The look of absolute sincerity on his face broke me and I huffed, stomping to the door. My childish display amused Edward, I could see as he tried to hide his smirk at my antics. I felt my traitor lips tug up into the tiniest of smiles in response. I always had trouble staying mad at Edward.

He quickly followed me out of the house before linking his hands with me as we started off into the forest. It was so strange, his hand in mine felt wrong... But so perfectly right at the same time. His body temperature perfectly matched mine now, his smooth skin, soft to the touch – not the usual impenetrable granite I was used to. His thumb rubbing soothing circles over the back of my hand still caused that pleasurable tingle of electricity through me however.

"Ok, so, we'll start off with something easy for your first time, but don't worry, I'll be right there with you the whole time"

I managed a small smile and "Ok", why was I so nervous about feeding? Maybe because Edward had always been so careful to make sure I never saw it happen. I'd always imagined it to be a gory, hellish bloodbath, those thoughts once making me feel queasy. Now, the burn in my throat flared as my hunger clawed at me just as the thought of all that blood.

Edward suddenly froze, his head slightly inclined away from me. His body was tense and it immediately forced the same reaction from my own. I looked towards him for some insight. He merely looked at me, a slight smile playing on his lips.

"What do you hear Bella?"

I listened for a few seconds.

"Umm… The winds, the trees, our breathing…."

"Further out, to the south… listen…"

My brow furrowed in concentration, surely I wasn't already failing my first test. I was clearly going to be a terrible vampire. Then, suddenly I could hear it. Faint, but distinctive. A heartbeat. No, several. The soft, squelching sound of the blood pumping. It was music to my ears. The low snarl that rumbled through my chest was entirely instinctual, as was the slight crouch my body moved into. Edward smiled down at me, clearly enjoying this first lesson.

"You need to approach silently" his voice was low, calming, "you don't just want to charge in there or they'll all just scatter, its only a small herd of deer, like I said, I thought we'd start with something easy for your first time".

I glanced over at him and found myself unable to avoid the involuntary smile that was purely a reaction to his adorable smirk. Edward was enjoying this.

"Ok Bella love, just follow your instincts, I'll be right behind you".

I gave him a curt nod then let my legs guide me south towards that wonderful sound. As I found myself getting closer I took to the trees in an effortless leap, briefly marveling at my newfound agility. I jumped from tree to tree like a human – or rather, vampire – spider monkey, before pausing just outside of the small clearing in which the herd of deer were grazing. I felt, more than heard, Edward still in the tree to my left.

I watched the small herd of 4 deer as they quietly grazed beside the small stream in the clearing. They were blissfully oblivious to us as we perched mere feet away, ready to pounce at any second. The thought alone had venom pooling in my mouth and the burning thirst scorching at my throat.

I shifted my position, preparing myself to leap. I could see Edward mirroring me in my peripheral vision. Suddenly, just as I was about to make the leap the wind shifted, bringing on it the most tantalizing smell I had ever known. The flames of my thirst immediately licked at my throat, agonizing and demanding attention. I could not ignore it. The blood I could smell would quench my insatiable thirst once and for all, I knew that without a doubt.

With no further thought I sprang from the tree, launching myself in the direction of that mouth-watering scent. I barely registered Edward's shout or his pursuit of me. As I raced through the thick forest instinct took over and my legs powered me through the trees faster than ever before. At some point I seemed to decide that going through the trees was easier than dodging them and wood shattered and splintered around my impenetrable body as I plowed through them.

Suddenly I was upon the scent and I paused briefly, taking in the two hikers ambling through the forest well off the path with rifles cocked over their shoulders. _Stupid men_. A sound from behind me startled me into action, someone was thundering through the forest in my wake, the urge to feed took over all other senses and my body automatically crouched and pounced. I launched myself at my prey and everything seemed to move in slow motion for me, although their pitiful human eyes would barely have registered my presence. I grabbed for the closest hiker and hauled him into the forest with me, ignoring his screaming and yelling. Stopping, I pushed him up against the trunk of a large tree and clamped my hand over his mouth, effectively stopping the nonsense spewing from him. I inhaled deeply and the fire tore at my throat once again. Without a second thought I pulled his head away from me, exposing the throbbing artery in his neck, and sunk my teeth into the soft flesh. The warm blood poured into my mouth, dousing the fire as it slid like silk down my throat. I gulped down greedily as I heard his heartbeats slow and stutter.

Wrapped up as I was by the heavenly taste and feel of the blood I didn't hear the strangers approach until it was too late, my body was wrenched free from the human and I found myself being flung several feet into a nearby tree. It crashed under the impact, bringing down several others in its wake. I got to my feet snarling and furious, racing back over to reclaim my kill. I stopped short when I saw Edward kneeling over the hikers body, trying to hold together his mangled neck in order to stop the bleeding, I almost laughed, I knew well enough he was well past saving. My amusement was short lived when I realised that it was Edward, _my Edward_, who had stolen my meal from me. Fury spread through my body and I saw red. The vicious growl I let loose brought Edwards attention to me and he stood up slowly and faced me.

"He's dead Bella…. You killed him.." His voice was pained and his expression was just heartbreaking, "im so sorry, you were my responsibility, I was supposed to be taking care of you and I let this happen… God, forgive me… Im so sorry…".

The fierce anger I'd been feeling moment ago dissipated immediately to see him so broken. My Edward, _my mate_, was worried that I was upset about the hikers death. I should be, I knew that. Human Bella would have been hysterical right about now. But things have shifted, life and death didn't mean the same to me as before. I could survive on animal blood, the Cullens proved that. But that's all it would be – surviving.. Existing. To truly live this un-life of mine I needed human blood. It was no different to me now than eating a hamburger as a human. I was detached from humanity it seemed. And, even though somehow I knew it should, it didn't bother me in the slightest. I wanted to live this life Edward had given me to the fullest with no regrets, for eternity.

I stood up from the defensive crouch I hadn't realised I'd adopted and Edward lifted his gaze from the dead human on the forest floor, up to meet my eyes. He was beautiful. Truly breathtakingly beautiful. And mine. The feeling of owning, and of belonging suddenly took me over and I leaped the short distance over to him, pushing him roughly back against a tree hard enough for him to let out a muffled grunt. I loved that sound. I used my body to press him further into the tree, pinning him there. His hands immediately went to my hips, holding me still and stopping me from pressing into him as I so wanted to do.

"Bella, what are you doing".

His sweet breath was cool on my neck and I responded with a low groan before gently nipping at his neck, eliciting a groan of his own as his grip tightened on my hips.

"I want you Edward, right now. I cant explain it I just… I need this… Please".

"Bella…" his voice was pained, attempting to rebuff my advances, although his body told a different story as his hands clenched, pulling my hips into his hardness and his nose travelled lightly over my neck and jaw.

"Ssh…. Please… I want you".

I leaned up to capture his lips with my own and he responded as I knew he would, throwing all of his passion and frustration into the kiss, his tongue invading my mouth, dominating my own. Suddenly he pulled away and I looked up into his pitch black eyes, gasping at the ravenous hunger I saw there.

"God Bella… I can taste him on you…" his lips captured mine again, nipping and licking and sucking, getting every last taste of the human from me.

Suddenly Edward pushed me from the tree before throwing me to the ground with a feral snarl. Immediately he was over me, grinding his hips into mine as he ripped the shirt straight off me and with no hesitation he devoured my breasts which were heaving under his ministrations.

Panting and moaning and feeling completely wanton I reached up and tore Edward's shirt from his beautiful body, the fabric just giving way under my hands. I ran my hands over his sculptured chest as he fumbled with the button of my jeans before slipping his hand into the wetness below. I gasped and held onto his shoulders in a death grip as he roughly slid two fingers into me and immediately started fucking me hard with them. This would not be sweet or loving, it was desperate and messy and perfect.

He moved his fingers in and out of me at inhuman speed as he ground his hard cock against my thigh in time to his movements. Within seconds I could feel the telltale coiling in my stomach, the tingle spreading through my body. I moaned loudly, I wasn't even aware of what was coming out of my mouth but im sure it was rather colourful as Edward continued fucking me with his fingers as he sucked and nipped at my nipples.

All of a sudden my orgasm seemed to be nearly upon me, I wrapped my legs around Edward, hooking my heels over his calves, anchoring him to me.

"Oh God Edward, im so close baby…"

Just as I could feel my orgasm about to explode Edward withdrew his hand from my pants. My moan of protest was replaced by a gasp of shock as I felt the jeans ripped from my body. I looked down to see myself completely naked on the forest floor with Edward above me, ripping at his own jeans in an attempt to tear them from his body. My brain engaged quickly enough to prompt me to help him.

Wasting no time Edward lowered himself onto me and pressed at my entrance as he devoured my mouth, a low rumble in his chest the whole time. That noise was hot. I loved it.

I could feel the pressure as his head pushed inside me, but it wasn't uncomfortable this time, I welcomed it. He lifted his head slightly, and looked into my eyes, just inches above me. The hunger I saw there now was an entirely different kind.

"You're mine Isabella. Say it."

The commanding tone of his voice was almost my undoing.

"Yours Edward, always".

With a satisfied groan he thrust forward to the hilt, slamming his hips into mine.

"Fuck Bella… You feel so good…"

His head dropped to my shoulder as his elbows hooked under my knees, drawing my legs up and allowing him deeper access. I felt him bite the skin of my neck as he started to move, hard and fast. He alternated between biting, kissing and sucking on my neck, mumbling to himself the whole time, things I couldn't make out but I could pick out occasional words. Like Love. And Good. So good. So fucking good.

As his thrusts came faster and harder I felt the tingle spreading from my core again. I threw my head back into the ground, not even mindful of the filth I was no doubt getting in my hair. I wrapped my legs tighter around Edwards hips, digging my heels into his ass and urging him to faster, harder. In response he propped himself up on his hands for better leverage as he thrust into me in earnest, his eyes locked on mine and never straying. He was moving at inhuman speed now, if I'd still been human he would have killed me, without a doubt.

I reached up and placed my hands on his chest, wanting to feel connected in every way. As the tip of his cock reached the most wonderful spot inside me my fingers involuntarily clenched on his muscular chest, the tips of my fingernails digging into his perfect, pale flesh. It only made him groan in ecstasy and pound into me harder as he threw his head back, eyes clenched shut.

"Im so close Bella… I cant…. Im going to come… Please come with me".

In reponse to his desperation I let my hand move down between us, finding my clit and moving rapidly, hastening my own impending orgasm. Edwards head snapped down, watching my hand move between us.

"So fucking hot baby… You're so beautiful…"

His eyes locked with mine again and the pure lust and love I saw reflected there spurred my orgasm. My whole body clenched, my legs wrapped around him pulling him impossibly further into me and body arched up into his perfect form above me. I felt him wrap an arm under the small of my back, holding my hips to him as he thrust into me four more times before stilling with his cock deep inside me, his whole body going rigid, his head flung back as he cried out in his own pleasure. My Edward was never more beautiful to me than he was in that moment.

As the pleasure subsided I let my eyes drift closed as I felt Edwards body sag against mine, pinning me and comforting me all at once. I would have been happy to stay like this forever. Edward once told me that recovery time for a vampire was pretty much non-existent, and if the stirring I felt inside me was anything to go by was any indication, I think he was right.

Before I could act on the promises Edward's body was giving me, both of our focus' was drawn to the noise to our right. Clearly as caught up in our little bubble as we were, we'd not noticed the stranger approaching. We looked over in time to see hiker number 2 come stumbling out of the undergrowth before freezing at the sight infront of him. His friend dead and bloody and two naked people post-fuck right next to his dead body.

"What the fuck…?" his words were barely audible even to my vampire ears, before he turned and ran back the way he came.

I smiled and looked up at Edward, placing my hand on his cheek to bring his attention back to me.

"Are you hungry my love?"

His answering smile was beautiful.

**Sorry for the delay, this has been a nightmare to write and I've written and re-written it so many times… I hope you like it anyway, at this point I just wanted to update with something. I realise some people will hate what happens in this chapter and I'm sorry if you do but I definitely intend this story to go a darker route than some…**

**Thanks for sticking with the story and I will definitely get the next update out much sooner. Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

I leap up from the ground in one graceful, fluid motion that would surely have caused my clumsy human-self to stumble and fall previously. I pick up the scraps of my clothing and secure it as best I can to cover the important areas. I notice Edward doing the same, his jeans are now missing the button so he pulls the zip up and they hang just perfectly off his hips. I take a moment to just enjoy the sight of him. All hard muscles and glistening, pale skin. My eyes drift to the beautiful V, a trail of dark hair at its centre leading down to the place I had dreamed about for months as a human. The memory of what we just shared flashes vividly through my mind and I lick my lips in anticipation of a repeat performance.

Overtaken yet again by my lust for my mate I reach out, linking my index finger through the belt loop on his jeans and pulling him to me. His hands automatically reach for my hips, pulling me to him and our lips mould together in a passionate dance. My desire for Edward will never wane; eternity together will never change what he does to me. Pressing myself against him I reach up, running my fingers through my hair as I allow his probing tongue access. He moans as he moves his hands down to my ass, roughly palming my cheeks and pulling me impossibly closer to him. I pull away and he moves his lips to my jaw, kissing a line to my ear before taking the lobe between his teeth and nibbling gently. Through my wanton moaning and panting I managed to find clarity in the haze of my lust.

"If we go now… we'll be able to catch up with him in no time", my words come out breathy and husky. I sound like one of those sex line workers.

My seductive voice doesn't have the desired effect. Edward pulls away abruptly, looking deep into my eyes with a frown on his perfect face.

"Catch up with who Bella?"

His words are quiet, calm, calculated.

"Dinner of course" I laugh, but its forced. I know something is wrong. Edward's frown deepens and he takes a step away from me. My hands fall limply from his shoulders as he slowly removes his hands from my hips. We watch each other for a few seconds, I can see Edwards mind working, thinking over what he wants to say to me. I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Im not going to like this.

"Bella… Sweetheart…" he trails off, Edward has never been lost for words before.. He swallows a couple of times before trying again.

"Babe, I thought you were joking… About the human… My love, the hiker was an accident, it was my fault, I should have been more careful, made sure there were no humans near by. But, its ok, it was a mistake. I will be more careful in future, it wont happen again".

I take a step back, crossing my arms across my torso.

"What do you mean "it wont happen again"? What wont happen again Edward?".

I cant help the accusing tone of my voice. All at once everything has fallen apart.

"The human Bella. We hunt animals. You know this, we cant kill humans sweetheart its not right…."

"Its what we're made to do Edward, we're vampires! Or have you forgotten that?"

He looks pained. I feel a momentary pang of guilt but its quickly dispersed when I remember that every word im saying is true. The Cullens are the freaks. Vampires eat people, that is the norm!

"I've not forgotten that Bella, but as you know there's another way. Why wouldn't you want to live our way? Think of your friends, Jessica, Mike, Lauren… Your parents Bella… You wouldn't want them to end up like that hiker, would you?"

His question is supposed to shock me into agreeing with his way of thinking, I know that. But, whilst the names bring the recollection of the faces to the forefront of my mind, any attachment I had to these people is hazy at best. Whilst I wouldn't go out of my way to hunt them down, I am not sure if I'd be too bothered if they did get eaten… I decide that im sick of this line of questioning.

"Look, whatever Edward. I'm hungry. I'm following the hikers trail. You can either come with me or not, it's up to you".

I turn to leave on the path the hiker took nearly 10 minutes before but my arm is wrenched backwards as Edward spins me back to face him. His face is blank, emotionless.

"I'm sorry Bella, but that's not happening. I'm not going to let you just kill another innocent human. You're coming home with me."

I try to pull my wrist from his grasp but he's not budging.

"Dammit Edward, let go of me, I'm not going back with you!"

He ignores me and starts hauling me towards the undergrowth, back towards the Cullens home, all the while muttering to himself about having to come back to dispose of the humans body. My heels dig into the soft earth as I try in vain to slow him down. Suddenly furious at being treated as not only a child, but also an inconvenience I pull my arm sharply back, toppling Edward off balance as he is swung back towards me. The shocked look on his face reminds me that he is not used to being taken by surprise.

Using his momentary lack of balance to my advantage I hit him square in the chest with the heel of my free hand with all the strength I can muster. I watch as his body is launched into the air, sailing backwards like a ragdoll before crashing through several trees on its descent to the ground. I listen to his sounds as he drags himself to his feet, I can no longer see him through the dense undergrowth surrounding me but I can hear his furious snarl.

"I'm going Edward. You've made your choice it seems…." My voice trails off quietly as the sadness of the situation overcomes me. I wait for Edward's response but I hear only silence. He is letting me go. He isn't coming with me. I am really on my own.

I turn back to the hikers path, sure of my decision even without Edward. I can't live as they do and I won't. Edward will come around, surely? He will follow me when he realises I'm serious, he's always said he can't live without me after all.

I start to head toward the path at human speed before Edwards voice booms out of the forest;

"If you do this Bella, there's no coming back."

My breath hitches as the finality of his statement registers. If I leave him now that's it. I won't be wanted with the Cullen's anymore. Of course I won't, they would be disgusted at me. The thought nearly sways my decision but my stubborn side wins out, I don't need them after all.

Without a word of response to Edward I turn on my heel, racing into the now darkening forest, my instincts taking over as I track my prey once again.

**This is a really short update I know, but I want to get the story moving again. I will update again this week.**

**I'm so grateful for all the follows & favourites this story has received, thank you so much! But PLEASE do review as well as I'd love to hear what you're thinking of the story and what you do or don't want to see happen. I'm really interested to hear where you all see this story going. **


	10. Chapter 10

I soon caught up with the second hiker and made quick work of my meal, I was surprised to find that hunting genuinely did come naturally to me, almost like I was truly made for this life. Everything felt right about my mind and body in a way it never did before. Of course, it did help that the humans were so slow and breakable that they really didn't put up much of a fight. I was sorely tempted to go hunting for a bear, bringing to mind the conversations I'd had with Edward about Emmett's prey of choice. The challenge would be welcomed, but I found myself struggling to find motivation to hunt now I had a full stomach.

My mood was as dark and dreary as the Forks weather, and it seems that every step I took away from Edward made the ache in my chest hurt that little bit more. It was almost like a physical link between us being pulled tighter and tighter the further away we got. The thought crossed my mind that I might not be able to go much further before I snapped. I pushed it aside. I gave Edward the choice, I told him how I felt and he chose to let me leave alone. I never tried to force him into my way of thinking, but I asked him to respect my choice. I am a newborn vampire and I needed his guidance. When I needed him the most he left me, again.

The thought brought me to my knees, a harsh sob pulling the breath from me as I gasped, overcome by the agony of my current situation, my emotions seemed all over the place. Out of control. And I seemed to _feel_ everything that much more as a vampire.

And, he left me. _ Again_. He promised he never would but when it came to me making a decision for myself, he left me.

I thought of where he was right now. With Tanya no doubt, I'm sure he raced back to that slut to talk about how disgusting I was, how ashamed he was of what I had done.

_Well, fuck him! _

_Let her have him!_

I couldn't.

I couldn't let her have him. He is MINE. My Soul mate, my other half. Mine. My _mate_.

Before I knew what I was doing I was racing back through the forest in the direction of the Cullen's home. In what felt like seconds I found myself just inside the tree line, perched high up in the branches to avoid detection as I watched the Cullen's glass mansion. I could see them in the huge living room, Edward was there. My dead heart lurched at the sight of him and my arms rose of their own accord, hands reaching out as if to touch him. Oh, how I wanted to touch him. As the thought crossed my mind Edward looked out of the window-wall, right in my direction as though he knew I was here. I knew he couldn't see me, even with his sharp vampire sight I was hidden by the thick trees. Maybe he could feel me, his other half, like I could him.

Almost as though in reaction to my thoughts his head drooped, shaking sadly as he turned his back on the window, and me.

"We have to go and get her Carlisle, we cant just leave her out there alone!".

Esme's desperate pleading pulled at my heart, I'd clearly just arrived in the middle of a discussion about me. Just as I was about to leap down from my position in the tree and announce my return Carlisle spoke, stilling my movements.

"No Esme, we cant. This is Bella's decision, and Edwards. We cannot get involved".

"But we must. She is my daughter Carlisle!"

Her hand clutched at her heart, I could just make out her eyes glassy with tears that would never be shed. My heart broke for her, my mother in this life.

"I am sorry my darling", Carlisle lowered himself to sit next to his wife, placing an arm around her as she melted into him, "I love her as a daughter too but this is her decision to make, if she doesn't want to stay with us and live as we do then we must respect that…"

"Respect?!" Tanya-Slut's ear piercing shriek made me physically flinch. Her voice was like fingernails on a chalkboard in my brain, "Why the hell do we owe her any respect? She is a cold blooded murderer for Christ sake! We know for a fact she has killed one human and as Edward told us, she went racing into the forest after her second course without a second thought. She's a monster."

"Tanya!" Esme gasped, "she is a newborn same as you once were, everyone here has had temptation and none of us here are perfect. What Bella needs right now is our support!"

I see Alice walk to the window, surveying the tree line as if looking for something, seemingly ignoring the conversation going on behind her.

"Esme, with all due respect, Bella was well aware of our alternative lifestyle before being changed, she knows there is another way and has made her decision to leave Edward and become a monster. I say we wash our hands of her, right Edward?" Tanya's self-satisfied smirk almost makes me leap from the tree and storm into the house just to have the satisfaction of smashing it right off her face.

All eyes turn to Edward who has been standing with his back to the room, leaning against the large stone fireplace throughout the entire conversation. From my perch in the trees I see his shoulders sag, without turning around he quietly mutters the words that shatter me;

"She has made her decision…."

A broken sob tears from my chest and I clutch at the tree branch to stop from falling. He thinks I'm a monster. He is disgusted by me. He really doesn't want me.

Gasping for breaths through the unbearable pain in my broken heart I glance once more towards the house, hoping against hope that the Cullen's, my family will step up to defend me. All eyes are downcast except for Alice's who snap up to meet mine.

"Bella"

All eyes suddenly turn to follow her line of sight and in my panic I clumsily leap from the tree, crashing through branches as I go. I hear the sound of the door flying open but not willing to wait around to be further humiliated and berated I flee, my powerful newborn legs driving me faster than even Edward can keep up with. I can hear them behind me as I race through the forest, fear is suddenly pumping through my body. What will happen if they catch me? Surely they wouldn't hurt me…? But what Tanya said, about me being a monster. None of them denied it. And look what they did to James, his only crime was choosing the same lifestyle as me…..

Oh my God.

Would they do that to me?

Tear me limb from limb?

Burn me?

_Kill me?_

My unnecessary breaths were coming out in harsh pants as I raced ever faster, all the time hearing the sounds of their pursuit. As I neared a large river I didn't even break stride before leaping, clearing it in one powerful bound. I could hear them slowing behind me before Edwards voice rang out, loud and furious.

"BELLA! Stop RUNNING!"

Shock at hearing him speak to me in such a tone made me stop and spin around just as I saw my family – my former family – break through the trees on the far side of the river. They froze there. I looked between their faces, Rosalie with her smug smirk, outdone only by the one plastered on Tanya's face. Esme and Alice wore matching expressions of distress. Jasper just looked resigned as he placed a comforting arm around his mates waist. Even Emmett's usually carefree expression was replaced by a somber mask. It was Edward that broke my heart all over again however. His face held no expression, no hint of his feelings for me that I could grasp onto. His eyes were pitch black.

They looked like that the night he killed James.

Maybe black wasn't just hunger.

Maybe it was anger too.

Was he that angry with me?

He took a decisive step forward toward the river as if to make a leap across, I instinctively stepped back, preparing to turn and run, but Carlisle reaching out and grabbing Edward's shoulder, hauling him back made me pause. Though he spoke quietly I could hear every word over the roar of the river.

"Son, she is in their territory now, if you step foot over there they will kill you."

"Carlisle, make her come home!" Esme pleaded desperately.

Carlisle lifted his eyes to meet mine, "It is her decision, not ours Esme".

Shifting my glance to Edward I saw no change, and no emotion there.

"No", I said, sadness colouring my tone, "Its not…."

I could have sworn I saw a hint of a frown on his beautiful face before I turned on my heel and sprinted, putting as much distance between myself and the people I had once thought were my family.

**Another update! **

**I'm trying to make up for my appalling lack of updates previously. Sorry this one is short again, I really do need to get some sleep if I plan to do anything remotely productive at work tomorrow. I will probably aim to do more small chapters rather than fewer long chapters as I find it easier to write shorter chapters. I know it can be annoying but I will try to keep updating regularly.**

**Some of you will hate this chapter I'm sure but once again, I would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far and sent me messages. I hope you stick with the story and my poor Bella – the girl needs some support after all! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter! And, I reward you with…. Another chapter!**

**I was really interested to read the comments you guys had on the previous chapter. One thing to remember is that this is all entirely from Bella's POV and right now she is a newborn, barely in control of her instincts never mind her emotions so things are all very confusing for her right now. It's possible that she is not quite thinking clearly about things and reacting rather than thinking in the first place. Or, of course, she could be entirely right about everything…**

**I toyed with the idea of doing an EPOV for this chapter but thought we'd stick with Bella for the moment. I may well do a little Edward "outtake" at some point but for the purpose of the story, right now I think its best if we live it with Bella.**

**Things get a little rough towards the end, just a warning, nothing too gory in this chapter though, I kept the descriptions to a minimum!**

As I moved silently through the forest, following the line of the river I noticed the thick scent getting stronger and stronger. It was unlike anything I had smelled before and almost seemed to catch in my throat. Curious at what could cause such a stink I couldn't help following the scent and was surprised when it lead me to the Quileute Reservation at La Push.

I hadn't seen Jacob since before I changed. My memories were hazy at best about him but I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that things hadn't ended too well. Nevertheless, I was somewhat out of options and friends. As I moved stealthily towards the small cluster of dwellings I saw Jacob and Billy little red house come into view. Memories suddenly bombarded my head of days spent with only Jake for company. He had meant so much to me and until this moment I hadn't given him a second thought.

I moved at human speed toward the house, though I was desperately wanting to sprint, suddenly overcome with the need to see Jake again. When I finally reached the door I knocked hesitantly, all too aware of my superior strength and the damage it could do to the sad looking abode in front of me.

The door swung open after only a few seconds and I was hit with the familiar face of Jacob Black, his face all at once lighting up in a blinding smile.

I was also hit with the smell.

Dirty, stinking wet dog smell.

The same I'd noticed in the forest, only now so much more potent and pouring out of Jake's house. I took a step back and immediately stopped breathing. Jake too a step forward to compensate, raking his eyes up and down my body. I was suddenly aware that I was barely covered by the scraps of clothing that I was wearing. I use that word loosely as I was hardly wearing them at all…

"Bella… my god, where have you been? I've been calling you for days, Charlie is just about panicking – he's had searches and all sorts going on, even got your mom back from Florida… what the hell happened to you, your clothes… Did someone hurt you…?"

His eyes finally met mine and he recoiled immediately, a look of horror on his face.

"Fuck… Bella, your eyes! Your… face… He did it, he actually fucking changed you? That fucking leech! Where the hell is he?" he looked around me, as if he thought I was hiding Edward on the porch, "why are you here Bella? Don't you know how dangerous it is?"

My new brain, usually so quick, couldn't keep up with all of the questions. Just the smell of Jake so closed to me made it hard to concentrate. I could barely remember what it was like to feel sick, but if I had to guess, I'd think that it was pretty close to how I was feeling right now.

"Jake… I… he's…" suddenly his words registered to me, or at least some of them. Snapping my head up to meet his eyes the next words came out almost accusing, "what do you mean "dangerous" Jake? Why am I in danger here?"

"You're a vampire Bella", he snorted, incredulous, "you're standing in a community of werewolves who's only purpose is to kill vampires. You have to go, if any of them cross your scent they won't hesitate to kill you. Go. Now."

"But, Jake, please…" I grabbed at his shirt, unshed tears welling in my eyes, "I have nowhere to go Jake, I need you, don't make me go please… I'm all on my own".

I finally broke down, falling to my knees sobbing. Jake stood motionless as I clutched at his leg for dear life. My breathless sobs were out of control. I couldn't seem to stop myself, it was like my emotions were out of control. Finally, after what felt like forever, I felt Jake lower himself, kneeling before me. He gingerly put his arms around me as if afraid I might bite. He probably wasn't far wrong… The stench of him was repugnant, but I couldn't deny the comfort I felt in his arms. This is what I'd been craving. Just someone to hold me. Tell me it was going to be ok. I just needed someone to want me and look after me. No, not someone. I needed Edward. The thought brought on a fresh round of sobs and Jake rocked me gently.

"Sshh Bella, its ok… God, what have they done to you? Did they just turn you and leave you? I swear to God if they did that I will hunt them down myself."

"We had an… argument…" I managed to force the words out, calming myself slightly, "Edward said that I couldn't go back, I'm on my own now.."

"Hang on a minute", Jake gripped my shoulders, pushing me back to sit upright as he looked at me, a frown on his face. "The bloodsucker changes you into a monster and then just leaves you because you have an argument? So much for mating for all of eternity!"

In a second I was on my feet.

"I am not a monster Jake" I spat, angrily.

Jake slowly rose to his feet, hands slightly raised as if in surrender.

"I'm sorry Bells, poor choice of words, you know me… But, he just.. left you…"

I nod my head slowly, not able to even form the words to respond. I see Jakes feet shuffle hesitantly forward. Before a vicious snarl rings out behind me. Startled I leap forward, close to Jakes side. The first thought that runs through my head is that they've found me; the Cullen's have tracked me down. Would they kill me now?

Before I can even fully process that thought I look up to see who is snarling at me and am faced with a huge, angry werewolf, flanked on either side by two of the Res kids I recognize as Sam and Embry.

"Paul said he'd come across a new vampire scent, looks like we've found it", Sam smirked as he spoke, the wolf, Paul, snarled low as if in response.

Jake took a step forward, positioning himself slightly in front of me as if to shield me from their view. It was a bit late for that of course…

"Sam… C'mon, she was just leaving… She just came over to, um… to say goodbye. You know, for old times' sake and all that"

"I don't care why she was here, she is on our territory therefore she has broken the treaty. You know what that means Jacob".

I stepped out hesitantly from behind Jake.

"I'm sorry.. I didn't know anything about a treaty or territories or anything. I'll go, now… I'm sorry."

I started toward the forest to the east, no plan in mind but wanting to get to safety. I spared a brief glance to Jake who looked stricken at the situation. I darted towards the forest but my escape was cut short as my body was hit hard, flinging me sideways and crashing through a tree en route. When I finally landed in the muddy forest flood I found myself pinned down by the large grey wolf, his huge forepaws holding my arms in place as he stood over me, snarling viciously right into my face. Panic seized me, realising that this was probably how I was going to die. My chance at eternity cut short by an overgrown dog. But what use was eternity if I was alone anyway. I missed Edward. I felt a physical pain at being parted from him. At every moment there was a part of my mind thinking of him, wondering what he is doing, remembering him. I focused on that part and brought up all of my clearest memories. If I was going to die, I want to die thinking of him. If I can't be with him, held securely in his arms, as I leave this world once and for all, then the next best thing was to be immersed in my vivid vampire recollection of him.

My brain had almost blocked out the snarling wolf entirely, although a part of my brain vaguely registered that 2 more wolves had joined us. Probably Sam and Embry. Jake couldn't go against his tribe to save me, I knew that and I wouldn't expect it. I heard the snarls around me getting louder. They were surrounding me now. I didn't fight, I lost myself in the memory of Edward. His beautiful face. His lips… Oh, how I would love to feel them on mine right now. Just to touch him and hold him…

In the distance I could hear a pained shriek, somewhere between a growl and a scream.

_Jacob_.

Even through that feral noise his wolf-form made I recognised my friend. My Jake. The pain I heard in that sound saddened me. I didn't want to cause him any pain. I should never have come here. I had fucked up everything since the moment I was turned.

I didn't make a sound at the painful ripping sensation that engulfed my leg. I didn't even flinch. Physical pain I could handle. I could ignore it. My vampire body and brain was able to focus on other things. I closed my eyes, clamped them shut so nothing would interrupt my perfect memories of my Edward.

My love.

_My Mate_.

His name slipped from my lips in a groan as I felt jaws clamp onto my torso, pain rocketing up my body, I pushed the feeling aside, I couldn't focus on it, I wouldn't.

Suddenly the pain abated. The tearing and snarling just stopped.

And then I heard it.

The most terrifying sound I had ever heard.

So full of fury it even prompted my broken body to try to flee.

My legs wouldn't listen. I couldn't stand.

_Weird._

I clawed my way on my one working arm, my other one hung limply at my side, I daren't look at it. Or at my legs. I kept my eyes clamped shut. I was squeamish as a human and I had no reason to think I wouldn't be as a vampire right at this moment. I didn't want to see what state I was in. The only thing I could focus on was getting to safety. Getting away from whatever made that sound.

As I dragged myself along through the dirt and branches and leaves I could hear the sounds behind me, snarling, snapping, screaming. I tried to drag myself as fast as I could.

Opening my eyes now I could see a small river up ahead. If I could just get to that, the current was strong, it would take me to safety. My goal in sight I pulled myself along faster.

I was nearly there, mere feet from the embankment leading down into the river when I heard footfalls behind me, approaching me fast. I let out a whimper, I couldn't help it. My whole body hurt now I'd let the pain overcome me. Every inch of me was agony and now something else was going to have a chew of me. Or worse.

Could this even get any worse?

As I was nearly at the edge of the embankment I felt hands grab me roughly around the waist, lifting me easily as though I weighed nothing. I felt myself being pulled back against a huge body, the sheer strength I felt in it terrified me, especially coupled with that hideous, horrifying noise… This was not the comforting body I was hoping to end my days wrapped in, that was sure. My flailing arm was pinned painfully to my side as I screamed out in agony and terror.

Who on earth had hold of me?

I tried to turn my head to the side to see but a hand was clamped hard over my mouth, effectively stopping my noise and movement. Then suddenly we were off, heading deep into the forest, I closed my eyes, not wanting to see whatever would await me when we reached our destination….

**What did you think?**

**And yeah, I made the wolf-boys even more annoying and hot-headed than in the books. I figured that if you're going to have rival species with a tentative treaty, they may as well go all out when it's broken, right? It's no fun otherwise! Call it artistic license for the sake of mindless violence which we all love after all, right?!**


	12. Chapter 12

I think I passed out.

Can vampires even do that?

Regardless. I did. The pain and the fear and the panic all became too much for me and it was like my brain mostly shut down. I was still vaguely aware of the feeling of being in motion, but my eyes must have been shut as I could see nothing of the world around me.

After what felt like forever we finally stopped and I could feel my body being lowered gently to the ground, however it didn't stop the agony that seared through my body. Immediately my brain was awake and my body woke up, screaming out my pain and trying in vain to crawl backwards from where I assumed my attacker was standing.

"Christ! Shut her up before we have the entire coven descending on us" the unfamiliar voice terrified me, I couldn't see anyone around me, in what look to be a dank cave of some description, but dragged myself in the opposite direction regardless, in a feeble attempt to escape.

I felt myself being hauled from the ground again, a hand roughly clamped over my mouth from behind, the powerful arm pinning my body still across my stomach, over-riding even my newborn strength. I tried to turn my head to get a look at my captor but I couldn't even do that. In my panic I struggled against the iron grip but to no avail. I heard a gruff laugh in my ear and gave up my fight.

"The others were collecting the… parts… We should leave immediately they arrive, the coven were fighting the wolves when I took the girl".

The voice next to my ear was slightly accented and completely unfamiliar. _Parts_. The word made my stomach drop. I knew they meant my… parts… I clamped my eyes shut and tried unsuccessfully to bite back a whimper. My captor again let out an amused chuckle. A man suddenly stepped into my line of sight; he was small and slight but moved with an air of absolute power about him. His blood red eyes glinted in the faint light coming through the cave entrance, he smirked at me before addressing the man holding me still.

"The others are here. We will go now before we're discovered", I felt the man behind me give a curt nod before the one infront of my reach inside his cloak coat and pulled out some heavy fabric that looked like velvet.

"Best to make sure our guest cant give too much away to her little psychic friend…." He sneered at me as he approached before binding the fabric over my eyes. The blindfold was so dense I could see nothing through it at all, my sight was completely cut off, I couldn't even tell light from dark.

Suddenly I could feel us in motion again. I was still held tight, unable to move an inch. I relaxed my agonised body, unable to fight anymore and gave in to whatever fate was to come to me.

**EDWARD POV**

Snarling my fury I threw myself into the fight, not giving any thought to where my family were, though hoping they were close behind as I was hugely outnumbered. I had heard the screams coming from my love, felt her pain as if it was my own. I had heard my family speak of this, about feeling when their mate was hurt or in danger, but to actually experience it was the most terrifying thing I'd felt in over 100 years.

I held nothing back as I fought my way to Bella's silent but mutilated form. These monsters had savaged her, I could see her legs, torn and discarded on the forest floor as two of them were tearing at her torso and arm, trying to pull her apart.

As I reached the large black wolf and pulled him from her – thankfully saving her right arm in the process – I felt another dog latch onto my shoulder, flinging me several feet away before I could react. My mind was so filled with rage I wasn't focusing on what they were thinking and had been taken by surprise. I picked myself up off the forest floor and stood, snarling, to face the two wolves who had come to finish me off. I could hear their erratic thoughts, they were joking, saying how easy one vampire would be…. I would fight with my very last breath to get Bella away from these vicious monsters.

I growled menacingly, crouching in preparation to take them both on but before I could make my move, my brothers mental war cry rang through my head. Trust him to never take anything seriously. Emmett launched himself from the embankment to our right and threw himself right into the two wolves before they even knew here was there. Taking the advantage, I charged at the one that was knocked closest to me whilst Emmett grappled with the other. I made short work of my wolf, gripping him tightly around the neck and then with one swift jerk to the right, snapping his neck easily even as he yelped in defiance. I rose quickly to check on Bella, hoping and praying that the rest of my family had arrived in time to protect her from the rest of the pack.

As I looked around I could see that Jasper and Emmett had dispatched three of the wolves between them. Carlisle, ever the pacifist had secured one but not killed it. The others were nowhere to be seen so I assumed they must have run when they realised they were outnumbered.

I raced to the place I had last seen Bella and found no trace of her. Panicked I looked around wildly, calling her name as my family joined me.

"Where is she? Alice?" my voice was laced with anxiety.

"I.. I…"

I growled, no patience for my sisters stuttering. I needed Bella. NOW.

Grabbing Alice by the shoulders I shook her roughly, "Where is she Alice? Where is Bella? Tell me!"

Jasper yanked me roughly backwards, releasing his wife in the process. He wrapped an arm around her, giving me a low warning growl as he placed himself between me and Alice. Carlisle approach slowly, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Edward, we will find Bella", his soothing voice calmed me, I took an unnecessary deep breath in, trying to quash the rising panic inside me.

"I am sorry Alice, forgive me. Can you see her, anything at all?"

"I cant, just flashes, I think its where she is now. So much pain and… darkness. Its just blackness. I don't understand. I think she is not making any decisions though, someone has her".

"The wolves?" my voice snapped out in a growl.

"No, vampires. The scent has been covered well somehow but its faint, can you not pick it up?"

Concentrating hard I could just pick up what may have been three distinct vampire scents. Masked under something less pleasant, almost as pungent as the wolf scent I had mistaken it for. They all three were too faint for me to recognise whether it was from vampires I knew or not though.

"I can, just.. Who is it? I cant recognise it. Victoria maybe?"

"No, I don't think so", Alice frowned, "I have been watching her but no.. She didn't make a decision to come here, this is someone else".

"Well who? Who would take Bella? And where?"

"I don't know Edward", Alice's words were almost a plea, her eyes glassy with tears that would never be shed.

"Come, lets go back to the house, re-group and see if we can work this out".

Carlisle's words made sense but the thought of leaving the place, the last place I had seen Bella was painful. My body felt wracked with physical pain, although I knew that wasn't possible – I hadn't been injured. It was the stress, the trauma of the situation. My mind and body couldn't cope with it.

"Carlisle… I cant… I have to look for her, please.. Help me. God, the things I said to her, I was so cold, she thinks I don't love her. Please Carlisle. I have to get her back. I cant lose her Carlisle, she cant… she cant die…" My breaths were frantic pants, almost like a human panic attack, the fear gripping my body was like an ice cold vice, bringing me literally to my knees in the middle of the forest. Carlisle rushed to me, kneeling infront of me and placing his hands on my shoulders.

"Son. We will get Bella back. We will not stop searching, never, until she is back home with us. I promise you that Edward, we wont give up. But we need to get out of here before the wolves return, we cant do anything for Bella is we are dead, and this is an act of war in their minds for sure. We need to get back to the house and figure out our next move together. Ok son?"

I nodded, trying to control my breathing as I allowed my father to help me to my feet and then followed close behind him as we sped back towards the house. I pushed all of my families thoughts from my mind, they werent helping. Jasper was flitting from one scenario to another trying to come up with plans and tactics. Alice was desperately trying to connect with Bella to see where she was or where she was going but all that she could see was blackness and an overwhelming feeling of despair. At least my love was alive. I would get her home.

We reached the house in less than 5 minutes, all rushing into the living room.

"Ok, so whats the plan?" my eyes raised to Jasper at my question but before he could speak Rosalie's voice cut in, the first thing I'd heard her utter all afternoon.

"Where is Tanya? And the Denali's?"

Alice's eyes glazed slightly for a second before snapping to mine.

"Gone, back to Alaska."

"Good riddance…" I muttered.

Carlisle stepped forward, all eyes turned to him in the hopes of him being able to make sense of all of this madness.

"Well, we need to make a decision, fast before the wolves come here. We have to leave and we have to find Bella. Once we have decided where we're going we will need to pack up quickly. Esme, Rosalie, Alice and Emmett. I want you to pack up the essentials we will need from this house. Only the essentials. We can assume that the wolves will destroy it I think but there isnt time to take more than what we will need. Jaspar and Edward, I'd like you two to help me gas and prepare the cars and travel documents… And Alice, can you phone around….-" his words trailed off at Alice's sharp intake of breath as all eyes moved to hers, except mine. I could see what she saw, the vision. The decision that had been made.

"Alice, what is it? What do you see?" Jasper gently questioned his wife.

"It cant be", she breathed, barely audible.

"What? Whats happened?" Esme's words were a desperate plea.

My voice was weak as I answered her.

"The Volturi".

**I know, its been forever since I updated! Im sorry! I had a real hard time with this chapter as I'd originally planned the story to go a different way and had actually written that out ready to post a while ago, but then this idea came to me and whilst it may get a little more angst-y, I liked it more. **

**What on earth could the Volturi want with our little baby vampire though? Poor Bella!**


End file.
